


The Dream

by thenewsomelibrary



Category: The Selection Series - Kiera Cass
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Friendship, Romance, life - Freeform, social devide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewsomelibrary/pseuds/thenewsomelibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing Jasmine ever dreamed could come true, at least that was the way it seemed to be... Takes place sometime during The Heir</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Courage

**Author's Note:**

> As some of you might have realized, I abandoned this piece for a really long time, but I decided to get back to it and finish it decently, so here we go! The whole story is OC-centered, but characters from The Heir will play a bigger role in the further chapters. I hope you enjoy reading it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapters are very OC-centered, I hope you still enjoy them because I had a lot of fun with Jasmine! Also I know that the first few chapters aren't amazing, so yeah. Please check the end of the chapter for more notes, those are really important this time. Enjoy!

I wasn't brave enough. In fact, I hadn't been brave enough my whole life. Not brave enough to go to school the first day. Not brave enough to break the contact to Marlene. Not even when she left me crying every time we met. Not brave enough to tell my classmates to do their own homework. Not brave enough to take the solo part in orchestra. Not brave enough to tell Raoul what I felt. And now I wasn't brave enough to do what I wanted to. Again.

 

I sat in my room, my pencil scrapping angrily over the paper. What was I going to do? Tomorrow, I would get my grades for the finals, tomorrow I would finish school. It didn't feel real actually. As far as my parents had planned, I would go to university in October and start studying math and french, my advanced classes in high school, to become a teacher. But as far as _I_ had planned, I wouldn't do that. If I was brave enough to say so.

I looked down at the lines I had made. It was a black pattern, just me fooling around as always. It was as it was, a pencil in my hand made me feel much better. That was what I wanted to do, go to university and study design. Not fashion design, or drawing or anything, I really wasn't gifted there, but design in general. I didn't really know, interior design, advertisement, something like that. I was dreaming of Angeles, the royal sunshine city and it's old university. Not that this was a dream that could ever come true. None of the ideas in my sketchbook had ever become reality because I couldn't really talk about it, because I was supposed to do what my parents did, not to live a dream.

 

“Jasmine,” my mom called from downstairs, “we're having dinner, would you help laying the table please?”

“Sure,” I called back, carefully putting my sketchbook and my dreams in the drawer under my desk. While heading towards the kitchen, I could already hear the plates rattling. Of course my brother had heard what mom had told me to do and done it himself. _He_ also wanted to be a teacher. The perfect child. But then again, I had to remind myself that I appeared like that, too. No one ever came close to my sketchbook, and I never told anybody about the dream. Maybe Thommy had his own dream, too. The idea made me feel better and worse at the same time. Not being the only one trapped in my parents ideas felt good, but I could never stand it if Thommy would have to suffer like I did.

And in the end, that was the main point. I couldn't stand it anymore, and the thought of Thommy going through the same pining thoughts all night, the struggle of not being able to be what he wanted to be – it was too much. This time, I couldn't let myself down. And before my mind could stop me from doing what was crazy and right at the same time, I sped down the stairs.

 

My father was already sitting at the kitchen table and greeted me absentmindedly before going back to his newspaper, but he eventually pushed it away when I sat down as well and Mom and Thommy put the food on the table. Mom had made rice with spicy chicken and some peak whom, a vegetable we grew in hour own garden. It was a traditional dish in the region in New Asia where my family originally came from which I didn't know much about except that it was called Thailand or something like that. I wish I knew more about it, but both of my parents seemed to like washing over their background.

“So, Jasmine, dear, have you looked up the possible universities you might want to have a look at? Are you already considering any of them in particular?,” Mom interrupted my thoughts.

“Yes, I have checked the information we got in school again and looked for more information. But I haven't decided on anything yet,” I answered carefully. It wasn't even a lie, but I had already focused on universities that offered courses in design and also languages. Not that they knew.

“Make sure they have good references, and also focus on the subjects. You must be able to study math and french,” my Dad added. At that, something inside me broke.

“Actually I haven't focused on these subjects at all,” I could hear myself saying. Suddenly all eyes were on me.

“You haven't?,” Dad asked coldly, “then what _have_ you been searching for?”

My hands started shaking uncontrollably, and I tried to calm down as I saw Thommy's worried face. I could do it. _Be brave, Jasmine._

“Have you ever thought of the possibility that I could not want to be a teacher like you?” My voice hitched up.” That maybe math and french were great in high school, but that this isn't what I want to do my whole life?”

Dad tried to say something, but Mom held up a hand.

“Don't you think I have my own interests? After all, this is _my_ life. Have you ever wondered what I do when I'm alone in my room the whole day? I sketch. A lot. And I'm good, but I would have never shown you because... because you would take it away, although my sketchbook is basically the only thing in my life that is really _me_. I don't want to go to university and study to be a teacher. I want to go and study to be a designer, I want to design any things, draw letters and invent interior design, because that is what I love. And I know you don't want me to do that, but let me tell you one thing: I'll do it anyways.“

“ENOUGH!,” my Dad shouted. “A _designer_ , my daughter, that isn't even a real work! How dare you betray your family like that! You have two weeks, and if you haven't become sensible by then, you can leave this place, and study your goddamned design, but without me, and without the money your parents have worked hard for!”

I hadn't realized I had started crying, but now the tears were flooding down my face. I stood up and left, angrily slamming the door of my room upstairs and falling onto my bed. I had expected being brave meant feeling better, but I was only feeling worse. I had turned my family against me, and what in the world was I going to do without them?

 _If you haven't changed your mind in two weeks, you can leave._ But where could I go? The only place that ever came close to home was Alisia Silo's house. Alisia was my best friend at high school, and her brother Raoul had always been one of my best friends as well, at least until a year ago.

And here went the problem: Just being friends with Raoul Silo didn't seem entirely possible to me. He didn't seem to notice, because I never told him. Not brave enough. When Alisia had finally forced me into telling him, I never got to do it because he announced he had applied for the fucking _Selection_ . Princess Eadlyn. _Yeah okay, if that's what he's looking for, I never stood a chance anyway_ , I had said to myself. The weeks until he got chosen were literally hell. I still got to see him at least once in a week, even though I was trying to avoid it at all costs. Now he was in Angeles, in the palace, having fun with the princess or whatever. I didn't even want to know. _Had he kissed her yet?_

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts, and thank goodness, because thinking about Raoul kissing that obnoxious princess girl made me want to vomit and burst out into tears again at the same time.

At the door was Thommy, quietly asking if he could come in. “I'm sorry,“ he said as we sat down on my bed.

“What could you be sorry for?,” I asked him, surprised.

My brother stared at his hands. “You're my sister, and I thought I knew you. I still think you trust me, don't worry. But I'm sorry that you must be so scared, so that you can't even talk to me about what you are worrying about.” I pulled him into a hug.

“I thought it wasn't important, you know. I didn't want to worry you with something that would never ever be real, or important. But I realized that what I love will always be important.”

“What did you mean by design?,” he wanted to know.

“Do you want to see?,” I asked. From my drawer, I got the sketchbook.

Thommy looked through the pages quietly, but then he remarked: “These are really good, you know? You were right when you said you could do it.” Maybe some people wouldn't have given a lot on the opinion of their 15-year-old brother, but Thommy meant the world to me.

“Yes, but I would need to study, go to university,” I admitted.

“So that's what you are going to do? You are going to leave?” I could feel that, although he was trying to comfort me, he was terrified of me leaving. And I could understand him because if I left, was there a chance to come back? “I don't know, Thommy, I don't know how. But if I do, I'll still be your sister, and I'll never leave you behind. Never.” Saying it out loud, I realized it was true. I couldn't leave him. _Never_. We sat there, cuddled together on my bed, and eventually Thommy fell asleep, but I stayed up all night thinking about a way towards the future I wanted – or the one I couldn't afford. My parents didn't appear once.

 

The next morning I woke up realizing that I must have been fallen asleep eventually, because Thommy was already gone, probably for school as it was only Friday. Turning around again because I was totally ready to stay in bed the whole day I tried to figure out what had happened yesterday. _Two weeks._ Did he really mean it? It wasn't something I would have ever expected from my parents, or from myself, to get thrown out of the house. Looking at it now, in the daylight, it was probably the worst idea to bomb my family like that. I shouldn't have done it. But what if I hadn't gotten another chance? Could they even understand? Maybe not.

I remembered they told me about how there were certain standards in society, and how I had to fit into my family's standard. It seemed like about 20 years ago, there had actually been a system by law, called the castes, that put you into your place, your job, and your social contacts. As my Mum once told my brother and me, we would have been “threes”, meaning we were in the third highest category. I assumed the people above us were the royal family and celebrities, but I didn't really care. Because wasn't the system gone? Couldn't we do what we wanted to?

Apparently not, according to my parents. The old system was stuck in their heads and they wouldn't let it go, and they weren't the only ones. That was the reason why they wouldn't let me study design, because it would have been a “five” job. That was also the reason for all the reports you could read in the newspaper. One of my friends from high school told me about her older brother, who wouldn't get a job as a teacher at the school where he applied because his family had come from a line of “sixes”. I didn't care about it, if my friends were poor or rich, or what kind of family they had., but apparently other people did, and it was downright unfair.

Of course, there were further issues, especially here in the south of Illéa. It had always been a poor area, a dirty province with huge health issues. But I knew that the king had almost immediately started to improve the situation here, and there were more doctors here now than twenty years ago, more schools, and a better structure. Still, life wasn't the best for many people, and it was worse for families coming from lower castes.

On the stairs, I heard the steps from my mother approaching my room, and I prepared myself for getting into an argument again. I couldn't handle it right now.

“Hey, I'm glad you're awake now,” she said as she entered my room. She never knocked. When I didn't answer, she watched me, concerned.

“Jasmine, I'm sorry for your father's outburst. He didn't mean it that way.”

“Oh really? Then why can't _he_ tell me? Clearly because I'm such a shame he can't look me in he eye,” I spat angrily, but then I wanted to take it back. I wasn't going to be rude. “I'm sorry. But don't you understand? I'm not going to be a teacher. I can't even handle children. And I can't even help Thommy with homework because I can't explain stuff. Sorry, but that's just not me, you know?”

Mum took me in her arms, because I was nearly crying again. “I know,” she replied to my surprise, “it's not your fault. But see, he's also kind of right. Will you get a job as a designer? Are there even real jobs? Do you have a perspective? I trust you, Jasmine, that you can do it. But we, as your parents, are scared, you know, that you won't be happy.”

I didn't know what to say at that. Clearly she was meaning what she said, but she would never see what was my point. If this was about my happiness, then why didn't she see that I wasn't going to be happy as a teacher?

“You know, I'm also proud of you. You just graduated high school and today you'll finally get your grades.” Oh my goodness, no. The graduation celebration in the evening. But Mum wasn't finished yet: “You'll be ready, and independent. And now you want to walk your own way, and I hope you'll find it. I just wanted you to know.” I was stunned. Hadn't she just said she did not appreciate what I was going to do?

“Thank you. You don't know what this means. I was so scared to do this alone.” This was true. She had said she believed me to be ready, but was I really ready? I didn't know. Again, the question was: _Was I brave enough?_

“You won't be alone, Jasmine. We'll always be by your side, even if your father isn't going to show it. He loves you, as I do.” Of course she was defending him, and maybe she was even right. She gave me another hug, and when she left I considered what she had told me before. It was probably true that I couldn't plan with any money from my parents, and that was a problem. I hadn't gotten enough money, and I needed a job first if I wanted to go to university.

The rest of the day basically went on in silence, and at 5pm, I started getting ready for the celebration at school. My dress was black, fitted around my body and then ended in a wider skirt until my knees below a dark blue bow around my waist. It was quite cute, but noting special. This was probably going to be the last time I'd see my whole grade for a long time, so I was kind of looking forward to it. Besides, I needed to talk to Alisia. I knew she would understand me, maybe as the only person.

When we left, I was a nerve wrack. Sure, I already knew my grades, and that I had passed the finals, but I couldn't believe this was literally the last day I went to school. It felt like a huge step, although it was probably just a tiny step in my life. My father wasn't coming with us: He had to do stuff for his work, which had been clear already last week, but now I was kind of relieved not having to see him. I knew I had disappointed him, and that make me feel so, so bad. It was like I was running away from my problems, but today should be a happy day, a day I had been looking forward to for a long time.

At the door, I saw Alisia and we basically ran into each other for a hug. We hadn't met for two weeks now, which was rare, and I had missed her. I knew that it would get more difficult now that we were out of school as we weren't going to see each other every day now.

“You're dress is gorgeous!,” I exclaimed as we pulled away. She was wearing a radiant yellow dress that fit her dark tanned skin and her hair nicely. It was something I could have never worn with my fair skin and black hair, but it looked amazing on her.

“And you look classy as always,” she replied sweetly, which sounded even better with her Hispanic accent that I had grown up with. She came from a line of sevens, but her family had worked themselves up quite a bit, so they had a much better life now.

“But you don't look good. Did something happen?,” she asked more quietly. Alisia just always knew. On our way to the assembly hall I told her a brief version of what was going on at home.

“Two weeks! Do you think he meant it? Have you talked to him since yesterday, by the way?”

“No, I haven't. When he got home, he didn't greet me so I didn't think it would be a good idea. Actually the whole thing was probably very bad of me,” I admitted, but Alisia didn't think so.

“No, that was the best thing you could have done! You need to get your own life, and your family will get over it. They want to see you happy, and they'll see.” There was no doubt she was always going to be there for me, and although it was certainly unbelievable for her because her family was somehow the opposite of mine, her words strengthened me.

In the hall, everything was set up for the celebration when we took our seats together with our families. For goodness's sake Raoul couldn't come because he had to stay in the palace. Apparently a diner with _her royal highness_ was much more important than his own sister's graduation, so I wouldn't spend the evening thinking about him. Hopefully.

But the thoughts were gone when the principle started his speech. He said a thing or two about how proud he was of us, what he wished for our future, the usual words, and then it got to the names. In alphabetical order we were called to the stage and got our results on paper.

“Camilla Airtwon, Brenton Asher...,” and after what felt like forever: “Alisia Silo!” She got up and walked towards the front, smiling happily. Could I manage to smile like this too? I knew I was going to be next and when the principle called my name, I was already standing up to get my results. After the last one, David Zealor, had come to the front, we stood for photos for an eternity and then went to meet our families again.

Mum pulled me into an embrace. “I'm so proud of you,” she whispered into my ear.

When we left, Alisia suddenly spoke up. “Can you believe that was the last time we came here? Because I can't!”

“Oh well, if you have children one day and you happen to live in Panama, in this town...”

“Oh yes, because that is that probable, you theory freak!” We laughed together and said goodbye as we went to the parking spaces with our families.

When we got home, everyone immediately went to the living room, where we were going to watch the weekly report from the royal family. It was kind of a tradition and important if you wanted to know what was going on, although the last weeks, there was much Selection stuff in it, and I got to hear the princess's voice on a weekly basis. She was like the typical princess: spoiled, wearing the most luxurious dresses - although they _were_ pretty – conceited about her royalty, and thought she could have anyone. I bet she had already made out with at least half of the guys that were still there. Tonight, she was also sitting next to her parents and her twin brother on the stage, looking as princess-ly as always. I listened to the announcements the king and his advisers made, until the very last one. “Lastly, a small announcement from the palace. We are searching new staff members as maids and cooks, so if you are interested, send us your applications.” Well, that was interesting. A crazy thought hit my mind: Could I do it? I had the basic skills to be a maid, that was for sure, and surely it was well-paid. Also, Angeles was the dream. Thinking about it, it gave the whole thing a new perspective. Lost in thought, I missed the rest of the report about Eadlyn and the Selection.  
_Thank goodness._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly edited this whole work to be able to finally finish it, so if by chance, you have already read the first parts, it would be recommanded to reread them as well. This starts sometime during The Heir, but it does NOT correctly follow the canon plot of The Heir and The Crown. I have changed some things in order to fit them in with Jasmine's story, but that's not all. I will be writing this story out to end with Keadlyn being endgame, Erik being irrelevant (as Jasmine doesn't know everything) because I feel way more comfortable writing Keadlyn and I know that me writing Eadrik wouldn't be any good as I do not ship it, forgive me. This just for your information.


	2. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing a new chance, Jasmine tries to get a job - one under the nose of the behated princess Eadlyn Schreave, mind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go guys! This is the last chapter that doesn't mention any canon characters. Enjoy!

I was already awake when the telephone rang. _Oh dammit_ I had forgotten to turn off the sound last evening in my room so that I wouldn't hear when my grandma called. She basically did that every Saturday morning to ask if we should have dinner together on Sunday, which was normally fixed, but she always forgot. I didn't mind it, though. She was getting older now, and clearly the situation wasn't easy for her without my grandpa.

But now I could as well get up, although I was extremely tired after yesterday's research for the palace job. I still couldn't say what to make of it. Clearly it was a huge opportunity. I would have a safe place to live, go to Angeles, the city of dreams, gain enough money to study later and could maybe also learn to sew properly. On the other hand, it wasn't just that. I wouldn't leave the palace often and work directly below the royal family. Could I handle being in their service and being trapped like that? Could I step into a crazy decorated room with a polite smile asking if anyone wanted tea day in, day out? But maybe that was okay, because if I wanted money, I had to spend the next two or three years earning it.

And then there was stress factor number three: Raoul. He was at the palace too. Sure, maybe I wouldn't get to see him at all, but actually the thought of living in the same place as him and watching him competing for the princess was killing me. I had to get over him, but I wasn't already. But sometimes the best defense was to attack.

 

After getting dressed, I slowly climbed downstairs but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Dad sitting at the kitchen table. I knew I couldn't avoid him much longer, but what he had said still felt like poison to me. He lowered his journal.

“Jasmine, how was your celebration yesterday?,” he asked to my surprise.

I could basically feel the tension in the room increasing when I answered. “It was very nice, actually. How did work go?” Why were we talking about normal things?

“Jasmine, come here,” my father said with an awkward gesture, “I want to say I'm sorry for my outburst. I didn't mean it that drastically.” Ah, surely Mom had put him on this. “Are you really sure about what you want there? Because I don't think it's a good way to live your life. Don't you know how Illéa needs teachers at the schools? Don't you want to help the children?,” he continued. _How you could turn your words_ , I thought bitterly, _how an apology could turn into another row of reproaches._ He would never understand.

“Dad, I know what you mean. But see, that's just not me. I'm going to apply for a job at the palace, as they offered on the report yesterday, and when I have enough money, I will go to university,” I said. I didn't know why I was dropping another bomb yet again.

Dad looked sad. “I know. Do your own thing. As if anything could ever stop you.” What was that supposed to mean now? I felt so, so bad, already regretting saying it like that. But maybe I had just learned to be brave in the past two days. I just hadn't known being brave felt so utterly horrible. And now I had to be brave, to really leave. Dad's journal was already up again, so clearly there was nothing left to say.

 

After getting some yogurt with cereal and banana from the kitchen, I went upstairs again and checked what I had noted down yesterday from the lady on the telephone who had given me the most important points for my application. I needed to hand in a letter in which I explained why I wanted the job, my curriculum vitae and my final results. That shouldn't be a problem.

In my notebook, I started writing, but just after the introduction, I stopped. I couldn't say I simply needed money. Clearly they would only choose the best ones.

Eventually, I mentioned my baking skills, my interest in design, and that I liked interacting with different people at work. I wasn't sure if that was actually true, but I guessed so. I liked spending some hours alone, but not at work. Overlooking the first draft, I found it wasn't that bad. I couldn't allow myself thinking about what I would do if I wasn't accepted. It _had_ to work, now that I had told Dad about it.

When I woke up the next morning, it seemed to still be very dark in the house, and when I opened the blinds in front of my window, it became clear why: it was still dark outside. How early was it even? 3.19 am, according to my clock. It didn't surprise me, Dad and myself had always been morning persons, and when something was worrying me, I couldn't sleep well. And I worried a lot, I guess.

I wanted to call Alisia, but I knew she wouldn't be awake. How was she such a long sleeper? So I went back to my application, putting it onto the real paper. I carefully wrote letter by letter so nothing would go wrong, but eventually i missed out the “l” of “sincerely” and had to start all over again. The last word, was I kidding myself? Angrily, I creased the paper and threw it against the wall. My nervousness and my anger about myself didn't make the next tries any better.

 

When my clock showed nine and it was already lighter outside, I called Alisia. I knew it wouldn't make sense to continue trying to get this right. I had to try another time later today.

“Good morning!,” she greeted me, still sounding quite grumpy, “have you been up since, like, three again? How do you even survive the day with that little amount of sleep?”

“Actually, it was three and 19 minutes today,” I replied jokingly, “listen, I'm going to apply for a palace job. Did you hear it on last night's report? They're offering jobs right now and I already wrote it, but I won't get it right on paper at the moment. I guess I'm just too nervous.”

There was a break, and I was pretty sure I knew what she was thinking about. “Are you sure about this? I mean... Can you do it? Actually I'm not quite sure how long he'll still be there, because he wasn't given any special time on the report yet but he's still there,” she confirmed my thoughts.

“I know,” I sighed, “I can do it. I need to get over him eventually, you know.” But actually that was easy to say, but not to go through with. Had Alisia just said she thought he was coming home soon? Meaning the princess didn't like him?

“Lish?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you mean, you think he's coming home soon? Has he said something?,” I asked, and regretted it immediately. I shouldn't think about him, it just hurt.

“Jas...”

“Forget it. Don't tell me. I don't want to know.”

“Okay, but the thing is, I don't know either. I barely talk to him,” she admitted.

“Why?” That was odd.

“Not so sure. You know I was against him competing, and we kind of lost contact. I really miss talking to him, but it's so difficult. I don't know if he wants me to call, or if he would even tell me anything. I don't know what to talk about.”

“Then do it, Lish. Whatever happens, he's still your brother. And if he doesn't tell you what is going on between you two, ask him. He's not an asshole, although I like to pretend he is.” Which was true. It made the whole thing easier.

“I know. I'm just scared.”

“I get that,” I whispered.

“Jas, go get cup of tea. And then set up your application. I know you'll make it.”

“Thanks. And you, go phone your brother this afternoon.”

“I'll report back,” she promised, and we said goodbye. Talking to her had helped. I felt a lot more calm now, but I still went to the kitchen and got my cup of tea, as she had said because I knew she was right. Lish needed her coffee in the morning and I needed my tea. Back in my room, I started another attempt at my letter, and luckily, it worked. At 4pm, the letter was in the post and would hopefully get delivered until next Tuesday. Now the only thing left to do was wait.

 

I was at home alone on Wednesday morning when the post arrived. I immediately got away from the steaming I was doing, almost dropping the iron on the floor while running off to the door. I nervously fiddled with the post keys until I finally got it into the lock of the mailbox. About five letters spilled out in front of me, and I looked through them quickly. None for me.

When I got home from work at the local book shop on Thursday, I turned the whole kitchen upside down while searching for my letter. There was none.

On Friday, I was at work again, but I was the first one to come home. But the mailbox was empty. No letters for me. _But no need to worry_ , I calmed myself, _they probably haven't even read it yet._

There was no post on Saturday and Sunday.

And then it was Monday. Again, I was the one at home first and the first one to look at the post. After work I basically ran towards the mailbox, but there was nothing in there yet.

Just as I unlocked the door, a man on a bike stopped in front of our house. He asked: “Are you Jasmine Teach?”

“Yeah,” I replied nervously. What did he want? “Well can you take these?” With that, he handed me a bunch of letters, around seven I guessed.

“Sure! Thank you,” I called after him as he already drove his bike down the street towards the next house. I quickly skipped through the letters, and there it was.

 

_To:_

_Ms. Jasmine Teach_

_15 Old Primary Road_

_Province of Panama, Illéa_

 

But way more important was the sender:

 

_Mr. Cedric O'Connor_

_Personnel Department_

_The Palace of Illéa_

_Province of Angeles, Illéa_

 

I think my heart dropped. I wanted this so badly, I was hoping so much, maybe too much.

I opened the heavy letter on the stairs of the front door, ripping at the expensive paper. Inside, there were two sheets, the first one a letter.

 

_Dear Ms. Teach,_

_Thank you for your application for a position as a palace maid. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as a member of the palace staff in the next period._

 

Oh. My. God. I couldn't believe it. And I wasn't even finished.

 

_Your tasks will include different aspects of the palace work for the first month, after that you will apply for a certain section in the palace where you would like to continue._

_You will be given accommodation as long as you work for their royal majesties, king Maxon Schreave and his family._

 

At that, I made a face. Sure, I was working for them but could they please stop being so annoying? Well, the king hadn't written this letter.

 

_Every member of the palace staff has their own dormitory in the palace which they take care of. The nutrition and medical care will be taken over by the palace._

_The palace staff is a large team who works together every day. We hope you find your place in our team and get to be a part of our huge family._

_Looking forward to greeting you at the palace,_

_Cedric O'Connor, Personnel Department Adviser_

_enclosed, you will find a form to fill out and send back to the palace until September 1st._

 

I pulled out the second sheet of the letter and skipped over it. It was all the formal information about me, like my name, age, and others. I had to fill in which section I was particularly interested in and what my other interests were. At the end, it said I was going to start working at the palace on October 1st, and that it was required to arrive in Angeles on September 30th to get my room and meet the team. Ugh, I hated formal stuff, but this was necessary.

I finally unlocked the door and went inside the kitchen. I had to get a pen to fill out this form.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter, I know. But now things will get going, promise! Canon characters in the chapters ahead :)


	3. Taking The Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting a bunch of new people isn't always easy - or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the palace, finally. Enjoy!

I woke up with my hands shaking uncontrollably. A quick glance on my alarm clock confirmed that it was early yet again, precisely 3.27 am. Today was _the_ day.

I reached for my phone to listen to some music, knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again. The exact moment I turned it on, it started buzzing. A message from Alisia. I frowned, what could possibly prevent her from sleeping at this time of the morning?

_Are you awake? Can't sleep._

Slightly worried, I texted back.

_Yes. What's wrong?_

_Come outside? Old playground at the tiny lane?_

At that, I really was worried. This seemed to be serious.

_Sure. Give me five minutes_

_Thank you Jasmine_

The use of my full name made it even worse. What had happened?

I was out of my bed in an instant, pulling a sweatshirt over my head and soundlessly heading down the stairs and outside in my old sneakers. It wasn't really dark outside, as the moon was rather bright and full in the chilly night air.

The tiny lane was about half the way to Alisia's, around three minutes walking distance. I saw her sitting in an old sweatshirt – her brother's – on the rotten see-saw and sat down beside her.

We were quiet for a little, when she suddenly spoke up. “I called Raoul.”

I turned my face towards her. “What happened?”

“Not sure. I think we didn't talk for longer than three minutes,” she muttered with a shrug, the disappointment audible in her voice. “I just started asking him how he was and then he was called for _dinner_. Can you believe it? They're tossing him around like – I don't even know – and the worst part is he _lets them_! As if he would have stopped listening to me before just because it was _dinner_.” The last words were more of a scowl. “And I sound impossibly stupid, being angry about that. It's just...” - I could see her trying to keep a brave face - “it seems like he doesn't even care about me anymore. Like... Did he even miss me? I'm his sister!”

I pulled her into an embrace. “You're not stupid, Lish. It's just... You're not angry at the princess, or anyone else, you're angry at him. And you have all the right to be angry.”

She let out a humorless laugh. “You just always know, don't you?”

“That's what best friends are there for.”

“I'm glad you do. And I know I shouldn't blame him, but I still do,” she admitted.

“Do you want me to try talking to him? After all, I'll be at the palace today,” I offered.

“Are you sure? You don't have to do it,” Lish worried, biting her lip.

“It's okay. I'll get over it. Over him, eventually.” Seeing her like this was really wrecking me. I'd have done everything to make her feel better, even if that included talking to my crush who didn't care about me, really, that was total rubbish compared to... I let my thoughts trail off, not wanting to think about it.

“Hey, we'll fix this. He hasn't stopped caring about you, he's still you brother. And nothing will change that, and certainly not some _Selection_ ,” I said. When she didn't answer, we simply fell silent again, staring at the moon together.

 

In the morning, I started packing my stuff for the departure. Lazy as I was, I hadn't even bothered with packing until now, and I was kind of positively thrilled about leaving, now that I had talked to Lish and we'd been sure that in the end things would work out well for us. I'd miss her at the palace, but we would keep in touch.

I had gotten home around 5.30 am, unnoticed by any of my family members, and after getting a cup of tea and an apple from the kitchen, I had risked a look at my wardrobe.

It really wasn't that difficult to pack, considering I had to take almost everything with me, because I didn't intend on coming back very soon. I was leaving for a new life.

I pulled out my two traveling bags from underneath my bed. Goodness, the last time I had used them was certainly more than five years ago, but they still looked fine.

Not even quite thinking about it, I filled the first one with a bunch of my clothes, not my whole wardrobe, that wasn't necessary considering that I was going to wear a uniform for work almost every day. There was still a little space left after fitting all my favorite jeans and sweaters, plain shirts as well as a few fancier ones. I decided to take at least one summer dress too, because who knew, and my swimsuit. I didn't know if there was a pool that the staff could use, or if I was allowed to go to any swimming pool in Angeles, but I certainly hoped so because I wasn't going to give up swimming. Not that I was particularly good at it, but I loved it.

The other bag was for all the other things that needed to be considered, my phone, my sketchbook, pencils, a whole pile of books (this bag was already really heavy), a camera, and my flute, along with a lot of other stuff. At last, my glance fell on the white pillow on my bed. Raoul had drew a quick caricature of me and Lish, laughing, once, and it still wasn't wearing off. He was good at that sort of thing, and this pillow was basically what I had left of him. I stuffed it into my bag.

 

My plane was set to take off at 1 pm, so Mom and I had to get into the car by 10am to get to the Panama airport in time. I spent the time I had left texting Lish and sitting outside on my window-sill, eating apples. Seriously, the amount of apples I ate a day had increased to four or five.

At quarter to ten, I rushed downstairs and called for Mom after I had said good-bye to Thommy and my Dad.

“No need to be so rushed, Jasmine,” she tried to calm me, but the smile on her face betrayed her. I knew she was proud of me now.

“Have you got your passport?”

I wanted to slap myself. Of course, it was so typical of me to forget the most important thing to go on a plane.

I ran upstairs again, pulling the passport out of a drawer. Downstairs, I checked my wallet again: passport, flight ticket, money, the papers from the palace. I was ready.

 

The flight was _AMAZING_. Like, it was a bit rough at the start, but oh my goodness the thrill of the cracking in your ears, and the thought of _flying_ just that alone... Even the turbulence parts weren't that bad! The only annoying thing really was that you couldn't really look out of the windows because it would have been too bright – apparently people were sleeping. But all in all it was way too short, we reached Angeles within about four hours.

But the airport – well _that_ was trouble. Everyone ran into one another, and it was much too big, even bigger than the one in Panama City, as I could have guessed.

But eventually I found the right exit and stood in front of a huge field, the skyline of Angeles in front of my eyes with the bright sun welcoming me. Thank goodness it wasn't much colder here than at home.

At the near bus stop, I examined the map of bus lines and took the next bus to the palace which was a bit outside of the city, on the other side of the town. When the huge walls and gates came in sight, I swallowed, suddenly nervous. I got off the bus, called a thank you to the bus driver and stood in front of the gates in the bright sun, wondering what to do now.

 

The next day, I went to lunch with Neena. She was the girl in the dorm next to mine, but she had been to the palace for much longer, and as much as I knew, she was Eadlyn's personal maid. Ugh, I admired her for being that brave.

Yesterday, someone had opened the side door next to the huge gate I'd been staring at, and let me in. He turned out to be Mr O'Connor, the man who was the personnel adviser. Through the impressive hallways of the palace with dozens of paintings, and all that royal stuff, he had led me to my room. I even found that impressive, and according to the fact that I had first descended two staircases, I had only seen two of the sub levels. According to the architecture magazine I had read once, the palace had four floors, and even more sub levels, and one more impressive than the one before.

In front of my room's door I had met Neena, who had just been entering her own dorm. Our boss had left me with her, apparently he had a lot to do, and Neena had told me a bit of this and that.

Behind the door, I found a neat and small room, with a bed on the left wall and a desk with a few shelves which I could need for all the books I had brought. To my right side, I could see a wardrobe, not big, but just the right size for me. In fact, my room back at home had only been a little bigger.

On our way down to the kitchens, climbing another staircase, I thought back to what Neena had told me about last afternoon.

 

“ _You're one of the new ones, right?”, the girl asked with a genuine smile on her face._

“ _Yes. I've only just arrived”, I explained, trying to match her smile but failed. It was all just a bit too much. I was at the palace! What the hell... So this was what I had gotten myself into._

_However, she was quite understanding: “Oh, I remember exactly what I felt... It's all a bit_ exaggerated _, don't you think? A bit too much luxury... And the king isn't even the bragging type, and neither is queen America.”_

_That had been exactly my impression, but there was another impression I kind of wanted to have confirmed. “And what about their children? It seems to me that the princess is kind of...”, I trailed off, hoping she'd know what I was implying._

“ _Spoiled, yes. And thinking she's a tad or two better than everyone else, yes. But she's not a bad person after all, and she can be a really sensitive girl too. It's the pressure...”, the girl tried to explain, “also she's different when she's not being watched, or on TV, for that matter.” I guess I got that._

_But the girls next statement surprised me. “I'm... um... kind of her personal maid. I look for her room and do her make up, sew her clothes and stuff. It's not always easy to work with her, but I know that in her heart, she actually likes me. She doesn't only care about herself.” I didn't know what to say to that, but in my ears, that sounded like something quite optimistic, as if the princess treated her badly._

“ _I'm Neena, by the way”, she added._

“ _Oh, I'm Jasmine. You can call me Jas, though.”_

“ _Nice. Shall I help you packing out, or something?”, she asked unsurely._

_I smiled. “That's nice of you, but I don't think I've got that much. I could use a palace tour, though”, I joked._

“ _I'm afraid I can't do that”, Neena apologized, “I think you'll get a tour with the other new members tomorrow, and I need to go back to sewing. I'll be back for dinner though, I'll accompany you to the kitchens if you like”, she offered._

“ _That's so kind of you!”_

_Unpacking my stuff, I thought that I was probably really lucky to have Neena next to me. She seemed very kind and was going to help so that I wouldn't feel so lost in the huge palace anymore._

_I put my clothes into the wardrobe, and arranged the books on the shelves, that were already much too small, since the majority of my luggage was books. The desk was perfect for my pens and pencils, and my dozens of pretty notebooks. The white pillow landed on my bed, and for a moment I played with the thought of having a nap until dinner, but I decided against that._

_On the desk I had found a “short version” of the rules that applied to me, and an general plan of all the palace floors. I had a look at it, but soon enough Neena knocked at my door again, and we started walking through the corridors. It was then that I discovered the first hallway that hadn't been on the plan, and I had a feeling that it would certainly not be the last one._

 

Dinner had basically been a happy mess of people in maid or guard uniforms eating at the giant tables in the huge kitchen grounds, chatting happily with one another. Sitting in the middle of them, I couldn't wait to become an actual part of the community here.

After about 45 minutes, there was kind of a shift change, when everyone left the kitchens and hurried to their position anywhere in the palace, and others came in. I had made my way back to my new room and slept pretty quickly.

 

In short words, yesterday had been great, but I was pretty nervous about going to lunch right now. The other new staff members had probably just arrived as well, and we'd have a meeting with Mr. O'Connor just after lunch all together.

In the kitchens, I sat with Neena and two of her friends, the brothers Matthew and Lucas, again. I spotted the other newcomers easily, as we were all still wearing street clothes instead of uniforms. There were about 20 of them sitting all together at one of the tables on the right side of the room. I wasn't exactly supposed to sit with them, was I? I didn't hope so.

After lunch, which was probably the most delicious potatoes I had ever eaten, Cedric O'Connor entered the kitchen. To my surprise, there was no dead silence, and no polite greetings, but everyone either kept chatting or gave a friendly nod and hello, until he spoke up cheerfully: “Where are our newbies today? He cast a glance around the room, spotting the large table on the right, and asked: “Please come to the front”, happily as whatever.

I awkwardly stood up, casting one more glance at Neena who gave me a reassuring smile, and at Lucas next to her, who smirked. “Go on then, newbie,” he said, causing me to grin.

I earned a few confused looks from the other “newbies”, but Mr. O'Connor was just starting his welcoming speech.

“A huge welcome to all of you!”, he announced, “we're all looking forward to working and living together with you happily and effectively, so I hope we'll get to know one another quickly. In purpose of that, I suggest you all call out your name and give a fun fact about yourself before we all go back to work!”

Whistles and applause erupted as the girl next to me started to sweat nervously at the idea, and obviously I had my thoughts too. A fun fact? He'd got to be kidding.

Didn't seem to be, though, as he nodded to the guy at the left end of our queue. His had been one of the arrogant, disapproving glanced I had received before. Now his voice totally matched his arrogant attitude from earlier. “I'm Tony. The fun fact about me is that – believe me – I've been a really wimpy kid when I was young, and now would'ya look at me!” A few people chuckled at that because he was indeed quite tall and good-looking now, but to be honest he had nothing to brag about. I didn't laugh.

“Guys, don't try to be funny with your fact if you're not! Just make an interesting point, that'll do you much better. It's not a test, actually”, someone from the crowd yelled. The redhead next to me gasped at the not-at-all-subtle rudeness, but many others laughed since he seemed to have a point.

Next in the queue was a pretty brunette with olive-tanned skin. “My name is Camilla, hey everyone”, she introduced herself softly. There was a tiny whistle from a guard in the back rows, she was already getting hit on. “I'd say I'm a pretty good musician, and I can play six instruments, but I can't sing for my life”, she continued.

”What are those?”, a maid asked curiously.

Camilla beamed. “The flute, the saxophone, the violin, the viola, the guitar, but most importantly the piano.”

Wow. And I was here with only my flute, not even that musically talented. What the hell did I have to say?

After that an African girl with long braids, Debbie, told that she'd been to the German Federation in Europe once, and a blonde guy doubled over laughing when he tried to tell everyone how he had once tried to build a wooden boat with a friend at a lake in Clermont.

All too soon, it was my turn. I had nothing to say, because after all, there was nothing really special about me.

“Umm, so my name is Jasmine”, I started, and paused. Then something struck me as a good idea. I just hoped I wouldn't come off as a terrible show-off. “I'm pretty good at memorizing things. Like, I scanned the palace plan once and I had it in my head, and if I read a book, I can tell you if a certain scene or statement was on the right or left page, for example”, I explained. It really sounded terrible, but the Lucas, who sat next to Neena, saved me. “So you could do that thing they once showed on TV, like fly over Angeles and then you can draw every detail?”, he inquired.

I threw my hands in the air, shaking my head humorously. “No, no, I'm not that good,” I grinned, sending about half the room into chuckles.

Then it was Maria's turn, the girl who fidgeted next to me. She seemed calmer now. It was fake though, I saw, as I had done this a thousand times in my life as well. She smiled after telling her name. “I love drawing, especially portraits, so if any of you want one, you might want to give me a picture of you,” she offered with the smile still on her lips.

The round continued, and with an – quite unnecessary – applause, we followed Mr. O'Connor into an office in a near hallway that was obviously used for planning meals and stuff.

Our new employer had some short information for us again. “This is your schedule for the next four weeks,” he said handing us all a sheet of paper, “you're going to experience the different jobs we can offer you here, so that you can apply for one of them in particular at the end of that time period. I know that some of you already know what they're here for, but this gives you the chance to have a look at the work and decide what is the best for you. Any questions?”

I had a look at my schedule. Apparently I was in group 3, and we'd have a week outside in the gardens and stables, then we'd work with the personal maids (like Neena), followed by a week in the kitchens, and then I was going to be running around the palace as a messenger or anything like that, mostly in the offices or the common rooms, which I wasn't exactly looking forward to.

Mr. O'Connor dismissed us from the office, and we all made our way back. I learned that only three others were in my corridor: Linda, Debbie and a quiet girl called Kimberly. Outside the office, everyone started chattering again.

“Now Mrs Palace Plan, show the way!,” Tony demanded of me, clearly testing me if I had been lying. I didn't have a problem with that, though, and led the way back to the dormitories. Before we separated into girls and boys, Tony stopped us again. “Wait!,” he commanded. “What's your group? Mine's number three.” Of bloody course it was.

We all muttered our numbers, no one really matching his enthusiasm, and made our way back. Besides Tony, there were Noah, Kimberly and Maria in my group who had all seemed quite nice. One thing I knew for tomorrow for sure: I wasn't going to let this idiotic prat ruin my next month.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neena will play a much bigger role than I had originally planned, but I simply love her. I wanted to show the palace from a different point of view, and the staff turns out to be quite interesting - though this fic might turn out to be some kind of boarding school AU. I hope you weren't confused by the flashback part, please tell me if it was a good idea or not!


	4. Starting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much everything turns out to be better if you have a friend along...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I'm hoping to update this every three days or so, just so you know. Enjoy!

The next morning I woke up precisely at six, which was quite okay. I hadn't expected to wake up any earlier because I'd been really tired, but I still needed to go back to my usual routine in some days. Breakfast was set for seven am in the morning, so I still had enough time left. After using the bathroom at the end of the corridor that I shared with the other five girls here, I went downstairs. There weren't many people in the kitchens yet though, except for the kitchen staff. I could almost imagine working here, except that I was more of an average cook, not as special as all the palace cooks had to be.

I walked up to a boy around Thommy's age who was checking on a bread in the oven that already smelled so delicious I couldn't even find the words for it. He smiled at my expression. “Smells nice, doesn't it? Pumpkin spice, and not too little of that.”

“Ohhh, that's the smell! I think I never ate pumpkin bread though. And aren't they like, grown in October and not in the middle of summer?,” I asked him kindly.

“Well the palace has an all-year garden house. And according to your accent, you don't seem to really know what a real October is. Have you ever been up in Columbia or more in the north?,” he guessed with a goofy grin.

“Unfortunately, no,” I admitted.

“Oh, you can not know a real autumn then. Ever seen fog? Or leaves turning red and yellow and brown? Or winter? Have you seen snow?,” he enumerated really fast.

I laughed. “That'd be a no again. I'd like to, though. Not in Whites or something, that's too cold probably. I'd be freezing.”

“True though. I'm from Columbia, there we have all the seasons!,” he practically bragged. His enthusiasm was almost cute, though I doubted a fifteen year old would be happy if I told him so.

“You sound like that's the best thing in the world!”

“Well it is. Maybe aside from pumpkin bread though,” he allowed, causing me to chuckle again. “Speaking of which, it's finished now,” he remarked, taking it out of the oven. The smell overwhelmed me, it was so great, like... I didn't know.

“You want some?,” he offered, amused about me being obviously in awe.

“Sure, if that's okay,” I unsurely accepted a slice and took a bite, him watching me carefully. I melted. “This is the best. Mmhh... Can I have another one?” He grinned, but took one himself as well. “It's really nice when it's warm,” he chewed.

“Really nice? It's AMAZING!,” I said enthusiastically.

“You're one of the _newbies_ , are you?,” he smirked at the word, “I mean you're wearing a uniform now and stuff, but someone who is that enthusiastic about bread... You know what I mean.”

“I do, and you're right. I have my first week outside in the gardens and stables,” I explained, “My name's Jas by the way,” I added, wondering how I could have forgotten to introduce myself before.

The boy watched me with sudden interest. “Then _you're_ the girl from...,” he trailed off, then corrected himself. “The girl Neena told us about.”

I smiled. “You know her? And what was that? Whose girl am I?,” I wanted to know, but he turned away and started putting another bread into the oven.

“I didn't say anything like that. My name's Sam, and I've been cooking for the palace for a year and a half now, mostly I'm doing breakfast. And yes, I know Neena, mainly because everyone knows who is the princess's personal maid.”

“You're avoiding the question,” I stated, still curious. But I already knew I wasn't going to get my answer.

“Why are you working here already, though? No offense, you look pretty young to me,” I said. He shrugged. “I grew up here. It's not child labor or anything,” he said, so I let it go.

 

Some time later, other staff members poured into the big rooms, and I found Maria coming in and went to sit with her. Like me, she was wearing our new uniform that I had found in my wardrobe yesterday. It was a nice blouse and an apron, and I wasn't even opposed to wearing it. For sure I would have been a few years ago.

“Good morning!,” I greeted Maria, who grumbled a rather tired greeting back. Huh, she wasn't much of a morning person then.

“I guess I could never work in the kitchens solely because I can't wake up that early. Plus, I can only make biscuits, and nothing else,” she told me.

I smiled. “I'm quite the morning person, actually. But I'm not better than average at cooking either. For now, we're in the gardens, though. I don't know if that's my thing yet.” Goodness, I was already rambling so much.

“I like being outside, though. I don't know how hard the work is, for sure I'm not strong enough to work in the stables, but the gardens... Why not,” she considered.

“So you like plants and stuff, flowers? Sorry for being oblivious, but I never had a garden,” I admitted.

But she only laughed it off. “Don't worry. I never had a real one either, just a balcony, but that was always full of herbs and flowers, it was beautiful. That's why I think I need the palace gardens, I'd miss my own one if they weren't so beautiful.”

“Well maybe you can make it your own, or at least a bit,” I proposed.

“That'd be nice actually... What do you think, if I already know what to do after the first week, would they allow me to skip the other parts? I'll die in the kitchen week, I swear,” she joked.

I laughed at her desperate voice. “You'll survive. Or at least I need you to, because I won't be able to stand those weeks with that prat Tony without anyone who dislikes him as well,” I said seriously. Maria grimaced. “How can the others actually like him? I heard Noah saying he was _correct_ , and Eva said he was _probably a good shag_ , and someone else actually found him _cute_? What the hell is wrong with them?”

“Exactly!,” I exclaimed and sighed. “Oh, speak of the devil!” Tony had just entered the doors of the kitchens.

“The devil indeed, he probably thinks he's above every rule of punctuality,” she snorted contemptuously.

“What a _nice_ thought that we'll spend our next for weeks with him,” I added, and Maria choked on her milk.

Suddenly someone fell down on the bench next to me. Turning my head, I saw Lucas from yesterday, together with his brother Matthew and Neena, and another girl I had never met before.

“Morning!” he greeted cheerfully, “we thought you two could use some company. Who's the new one?”

“That's Maria, she's in my group. Maria, those are Neena, she lives on my corridor, and...”

“...Ellie, Lucas and Matthew,” the latter interrupted me, flashing a smile at Maria while pointing at who he was indicating.

“My brother has a _tiny_ crush on your friend there already, I guessed yesterday,” Lucas whispered into my ear. I grinned, suddenly remembering something. “It's not possible you know a 15-year-old called Sam who works as a cook?,” I asked curiously.

“Oi Matt, she met Sam!,“ he called, then continued towards me. “When did you two meet?”

“It was today before breakfast. I went down here about half an hour early,” I explained.

“You're a morning person then?” Neena asked, who had been talking to Maria before.

“Yes, my best friend always calls me the morning person of morning persons,” I laughed.

“When do you wake up, then?,“ Lucas asked, causing his brother to arch an eyebrow, which he met by kicking his leg under the table. Goodness, this pack was lively.

“That'd be about five thirty or so,” I answered the question anyway, maybe just to see the shocked expressions. I didn't get disappointed.

“Bloody sodding _hell_ how do you do that?,” Matthew asked.

“Does that mean that you aren't much of a party girl? Or can you drink too, and then wake up early?,” the girl called Ellie threw in quite seriously. I almost had to laugh at her seriousness regarding the question.

“I'm not one for partying and getting sloshed every weekend, but I don't have a thing against a night with good music, nice people and a drink or two I guess,” I answered carefully, not exactly sure where she was heading at.

“What about you, then?,” Ellie asked Maria.

“Same, I guess. Why do you ask?,” she voiced my thoughts.

“What do you think about having a little welcoming party for the new season? Not all the _newbies_ , though, some of them seem like total rubbish, sorry,” Matt suggested, “you can think about it. Just let us know by tomorrow morning and we'll have it on Friday in our dormitory.”

“ _Our_ dormitory as in several persons sleeping there? How did you do that?,” I asked curiously, remembering exactly that there were only single staff rooms, and that they were way too small for a party, even a small one.

“Well we're not going to give away any of our secrets, are we?,” Matthew declared. His brother nodded. “Don't tell anyone. We decide who'll come.”

“Don't get ahead of yourselves, guys,” Neena said, “it's not like we're some kind of exclusive club, and at the end of the day everyone knows about your little parties. They just choose not to come.”

“That's harsh, my friend,” Matthew said jokingly, “but I don't care. I wonder if Kile's coming again,” he added airily.

Ellie choked on her juice. “Don't you know about him and Eady? If all, he's spending his evenings where again now?”

Lucas only grinned. “You don't know him that well. They've only made out like twice, and the first time with the photo doesn't even count, and we all know why, right?” He looked around, and I caught Maria's glance. We both didn't.

“He must be _devastated_ that she's really only using him,” Ellie replied sarcastically.

“Can someone please tell us what the hell is going on? Is Kile that guy in the princess' selection who has always been living in the palace?,” I finally asked. I already had the pieces together, but I thought Maria hadn't, and I needed verification.

They all nodded. “We've known Kile Woodwork since he was a little baby,” Lucas started.

“And he's always been the friendly one to us, other than Eady when she got older,” Matthew explained. Had he just called the princess _Eady_? I guessed he'd been at the palace his whole life, then.

“Well, anyway, we've been good friends ever since, and even though he never told us, it was pretty clear he had a not so tiny crush on Eady,” - Lucas smirked knowingly.

“Now you're exaggerating!,” Neena called out, “he didn't know himself he liked her, if you know what I mean,” she said to me. I nodded.

“So when the Selection came up,” Lucas began again, but then stopped for the drama effect. “So we decided to help his luck a little bit...”

“Lucas!,“ Neena yelled.

“And Matt!,” Ellie added, “do you guys know how _angry_ he was?”

“Sure we do. It was for his own good! And don't _you_ know he's glad about it now?” Matt defended themselves. “You mustn't tell him it was us, though,” he said, “maybe it's better if he never knows.”

“He'll find out eventually. I don't know him, but no sane person would think it was fate or something,” Maria suddenly spoke up.

“So I guess you'll better tell him as soon as possible,” I seconded her.

They thought about it for a moment, but then Lucas answered. “That'd be the good one if it wasn't for Eady. If she finds out...” - “But I bet she's glad now too,” Matt interrupted. “She'll be very angry anyways. And I don't want her against me at all costs,“ Lucas said.

“Why? Do you have a crush on her too?,” I couldn't help myself asking. Goodness, had I left my last sense of politeness and my lack of courage at home?

It seemed like everyone exchanged knowing glances about something, and glared at Lucas, except for Maria and myself.

The silence made me nervous, so I asked again. “So am I right, or what? It's a bit bad mocking someone else for being in the exact same situation though.”

“No, that's not it. We're sorry,” Neena sighed.

“And to answer your question, Matt and I both had a phase – don't you deny it! - but I'm most surely not in love with her.” Lucas grinned. I believed him, it wasn't even a big thing, so why did they all make this _theater_?

“You still didn't tell us why the night with the photo doesn't count as making out between them,” Maria remembered out of a sudden with a challenging glance at the others.

“I don't think it's our business to tell!,” Ellie said strictly, looking at the guys with a stern look, “you two are horrible friends!” No one had an answer to that, so we all just went back to our food.

After that, the mood at our table was kind of strange, and I still didn't know what to make of this conversation, or what I had done wrong, so I was pretty glad when a bell rang and Maria and I got up to go to the stables where our work would begin.

 

“Are we going to that party?,” Maria asked on the way to the stables.

“Not sure. I planned on going, though, if you come, because it'll be a bit strange if I went alone. What if there aren't any other newbies?” Maria smirked at my use of the word, I had spoken before I thought. I was already getting used to the palace.

“Exactly!,” she agreed, “I'll feel so weird.”

“At least we know them a bit now, and I think it'll be okay,” I said.

“Well, I met another girl last night, she lives in the room next to mine, and she said I shouldn't go. She didn't seem to think very highly of the brothers, called them the _Marauders_ of the palace and I think their parties are quite known: For people getting too drunk, for smoking and stuff. I don't think I want to be a part of that then,” she admitted, and I could understand that pretty good.

“Neena seems very nice, though. She's next to my dormitory, and we talked a bit the first night. I think it'll be okay if she's there too, but you aren't forced to come. Matt would be quite sad, though,” I couldn't help but add.

Maria didn't catch on, which was good because I had already cursed myself for saying such thing.

“Maybe I'll come, although I won't drink the hard stuff then...,” she suggested. I knew she was convinced, but like me, she still had her doubts.

 

When we arrived at the stables, the rest of our group was already there, even if we weren't late. I was surprised that Tony had made it in time, and exchanged a glance with Maria who apparently thought the same. I was so glad I had her in my group, because otherwise I wouldn't have made it through the next four weeks.

A few minutes later a man in the middle ages appeared in the doors of the grand stables. “Oh, great, you all made it in time. I'm Luke Dweller, but please just call me Luke. I'll be your adviser for this week outside, and I hope we'll all make the best of it,” he announced. I could see Tony glaring at Noah as if he was already really annoyed, and that annoyed _me_. Goodness, this was what he had signed up for. Literally.

“We'll start with a little tour around the gardens and stables, but first you all have to change. The changing rooms with gardening clothes are over there,” Luke said, pointing at a door to his right, inside the stables. “After that you'll start working. Who of you have experience with horses?,” he asked.

Kimberly slowly raised her hand. “I have – had – a horse at home,” she said carefully.

“Great. After you the tour, you will go with Shelley. You” - he pointed at Noah - “will go with her and learn something. The rest will come with me,” he dismissed us.

Tony needed about 15 minutes to change. “Goodness, did he really have to try on every uniform there was to find the best one?,” Maria complained. We had needed about three minutes. Luke smiled a little at us, as if he appreciated her comment, and a short time later we were ready to go.

I had to say, the palace garden was able to surprise me again. I had seen pictures, but this was way better. I had never seen those flowers, or those trees, and I blamed me living in the south at first, but a glance at Maria proofed me wrong: She was amazed as well.

“Oh, Jas, look at this one!,” she exclaimed from time to time, and of course I tried to keep up with the gardening stuff she told me, but I knew I'd never be this enthusiastic about plants, that was her thing, not mine, but it was okay.

When we had rounded the garden inside the walls once, Noah and Kimberly were send around the corner. Apparently they were going to bring horses to their meadow or something. I was glad _I_ didn't have to do that, because horses kind of scared me.

Our group was assigned to plant some anemones into a piece of fresh ground near a fountain. I found the flowers very cute, but nothing compared to Maria. “I thought it was way to late for anemones! Is the climate here that warm all year?”

“Not all year, but it's never too cold,” Luke explained, “it's not too late at all. But that also has negative sides, for example that the garden doesn't get a proper winter break. The summer flowers usually need to regenerate during winter, and here they almost bloom all year so they don't live as long as they would somewhere else.”

Maria nodded, and it was obvious that she had already found her palace job. I hadn't.

Surprisingly, Tony didn't make any problems this morning. He was probably just a show-off who wanted to impress everyone, and either he had seen that he wasn't going to impress us, or he thought we were already impressed enough.

We had a lunch break around twelve and then we continued planting anemones the whole afternoon. When it was time for dinner, I was really exhausted from working outside, but it felt good. Maybe it was the right job after all, with the fresh air and all. I went to sit with Maria again at the same table where we had sat this morning and lunch, and this time Neena and the brothers joined us again, while they had been in the later shift for lunch. I could see that Maria was getting a bit nervous, but Neena smiled genuinely at us, and the expression disappeared.

“Good evening, you lot!,” the two brothers chorused. Maria arched an eyebrow at me, the I-have-to-talk-to-you-later-look. Now I was curious. When our table was called to get our food, I stood in the queue behind her, and whispered: “What did you mean before?”

She just shrugged. “Nothing. But...” - her expression changed. “Just be careful, okay? Matthew is apparently known as a total slag, so be careful.”

I turned serious as well. “I had no intention of getting involved with either of them. And I'm not stupid, so don't worry about me,” I tried to assure her. Sure, they weren't ugly and really fun to be around, but... Just no. I couldn't help but notice how quickly Maria and I had gone from total strangers to girls who wanted to protect each other. Because I didn't want her to get hurt either. Maybe that was why the thing with Matt had slipped out this morning, because I was a little worried about the two brothers as well, even if they seemed nice. I shouldn't be, though. I could take care of myself if I had to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, the last part was horrible. You'll see what's happening. More canon characters coming up in the next two chapters, beware! And I think there might be difficulties coming our way... We'll see.


	5. Finding Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something about slightly loosing control is scary - and something about it might be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is getting real now. I don't know if you spotted something future-relevant yet, but you most certainly will now. Enjoy!

_Knock, knock._

I woke up because someone was batting my door loudly, and checked my alarm clock. _What?_ I stood in my bed in a second. It was 7.05 am. _Shit._

“Coming!,” I shouted at whoever was at the door, probably Neena. I quickly grabbed my uniform and pulled it over my head, and in three minutes I was out the door. To my immense surprise and relief there was no one waiting for me. I frantically ran down to the kitchens, and fell on the only free chair at our table, next to Lucas.

He squinted, turning his head to me. “Morning person, are you?,” he smirked annoyingly. Now that I was slowly calming down, I really couldn't find a reason for sleeping too long. I hadn't set my alarm, of course not, but I didn't usually need to.

I noticed that everyone was staring at me now, so I just nodded quickly and looked at Lucas again who didn't seem ready to let go of the subject yet. “What happened, Miss I-wake-up-at-4-am?” Now I really was annoyed with him. This clearly wasn't necessary.

“It's five thirty, on a week day,” I replied as coolly as I could and stood up to get food because our table had been called, with the others following behind me.

I didn't miss Lucas muttering angrily under his breath though. “Goodness, what is wrong with this girl? She overslept, I mocked her, it wasn't even rude, so what the hell?” Biting back a snarky reply, I continued over to the menu.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder who turned out to be Sam. “What did he do this time?,” the boy wanted to know, sounding rather amused.

But I wasn't in the mood for joking. “I overslept, and he made fun of me for it because I'm usually a morning person, but that's not actually what I'm angry about,” I explained a bit exhausted, “the only one I'm angry at is myself, because I never _ever_ overslept anything!” I shrugged. I couldn't believe myself for admitting that to a 15-year-old stranger. Maybe I was just imagining Thommy. He was the person I missed the most – I could always call Lish on her phone, but Thommy didn't have one.

“Oh don't be, Jas, you were probably just exhausted from working outside yesterday,” he comforted me. I still couldn't believe I was taking advice from him.

I shrugged again. “Probably. It doesn't even matter, so I shouldn't let out my bad mood on the others, but what he said really wasn't necessary.”

“I can imagine. He speaks before he thinks sometimes, and that what makes him – and Matt – so funny, but they really can hurt you without even noticing,” he confirmed. That was exactly the impression I had gotten of the two brothers by now – popular because they were rude. I didn't say it out loud though, Sam seemed admire them a lot.

The line had moved on to where we could take our food, and I chose yogurt and my usual banana to eat at our table.

Luckily the others had stayed oblivious of my little fight with Lucas and we went on with our normal conversations, but maybe now I understood a bit of what Maria had meant yesterday.

“What about the party now?,” Matt looked at Maria and me hopefully. Okay, maybe he looked at Maria hopefully. We exchanged a quick glance and I nodded slightly, telling her to speak.

“We'll come,” she said, having all the attention now, “but I know your parties have a reputation, and they aren't quite harmless.” Lucas tried to interrupt, but she held up one hand. “I'm not offending you. Just saying if that's not our thing, we're out.”

“Seems fair,” Ellie said, sending the boys warning glances. With that, the topic was sealed.

 

The week wasn't exactly boring, in fact it was really interesting to get to know the palace, and the works outside, but I already knew that it wasn't what I wanted to do in the end. I wasn't sure what exactly would be my thing, but I knew this wasn't it, although I loved the gardens. Maria was of a different opinion on that one, though. She was already sure, and it was even making me jealous. What if I never found a fitting job?

In way too big steps, Friday night came near. I didn't exactly know why I was this nervous, but I was, and that drove me crazy. I had a million questions: What kind of party would it be exactly? Like just drinking and talking and playing drinking games? People snogging in the corners? Or actually dancing? I'd prefer the latter. And who was going? How big exactly would it be? They'd been bragging quite a lot, but I didn't know what to make of it yet. Anyway, all these question didn't need to ruin my lunchtime, because I'd find out eventually.

 

“Jas, Maria, wait up!,” someone called behind us as we hurried upstairs to the gardens for the last time this week.

I turned to see Lucas running after the two of us, and stopped. “Room 123 tonight, just so you know,” he informed us while already running back, “you'll find that, won't you?” We nodded in unison, and Lucas disappeared around the corner.

“Lucky bastards,” I murmured, “of course _they_ get to have a dorm on the first floor!”

“We can't exactly compare our rights to theirs though,” Maria laughed.

When we arrived at the stables where we met up with Luke, we were already running late. Everyone else was already ready to work, so we changed in high speed and caught up with the others who were cutting some bushes next to a little artificial lake. We had just started on one of the bushes by ourselves, when Luke called.

“Everyone, listen up! I need three of you with me for the part next to the forest, the other two can finish this today. We meet again at 4 pm at the stables!” Noah, Tony and Kimberly were already up next to Luke, so Maria and I were left with the bushes.

“You know, I don't think I'll come tonight,” she started suddenly. I stood on my toes to look at her across the bush we were working on.

“Why not?”

“You know why. That's just not my world.”

“It isn't mine either!,” I protested despite myself. “But it can't hurt to try!”

“Sorry, but I think it isn't worth it. Just... take care of yourself when you're there,” she said resolutely.

“Maria, it's not like it'll be dangerous! But you don't have to come if you don't want to.”

“Then stop acting like I do,” she shrugged.

What could I say? She was certainly right.

 

About half an hour later, I heard someone coming down the way. A woman, and she was singing happily along the way.

I exchanged a glance with Maria, and we both interrupted our work to see who was coming. Maria clasped a hand over her mouth and dived back behind the bushes.

“It's the queen!,” she whispered anxiously. “What do we do now?”

I shrugged. “Better to go out there and announce our presence than to sit here and be noticed as spies or something.”

“Seriously?” She had become pale.

I stepped out of the bushes, dragging Maria along with my hand.

“Hello, Your Highness,” we greeted her with a curtsy. The queen was stunning, with a wave of red hair behind her.

“Good afternoon, the two of you!” She smiled warmly. “Isn't it way too hot to be working here in the sun?”

“Errr-,” Maria stuttered, struggling to appear casual.

“It doesn't matter that much,” I jumped in, “I'm used to temperatures like that because I'm from the south, and Maria just loves gardening too much to care about the weather.”

Maria beamed. “I love the palace gardens! There are tons of plants I've never seen before!,” she added, causing Queen America to smile wider.

“I love it too, although I never did gardening myself. I just like a walk from time to time, and you guys deserve an award for keeping it so lovely!”

“Thank you!,” we said in unison.

“But we're really only here our first week, I don't think we can be thanked for this,” Maria added.

“Oh, that's interesting! How are you feeling about the palace so far?,” she asked curiously.

“It's amazing!,” Maria gushed nervously, “so much fun!”

“And the community is amazing!,” I added.

America seemed to be happy. “So I've heard. Sometimes I wish we weren't so isolated, especially for our children-” She stopped. “Sorry. I just don't know where I have my head at the moment. It was nice to talk to you though!” With that, she was off and continued her path.

I glanced at Maria, and the second the queen was out of earshot, we burst out laughing. “We were horrible, weren't we?,” but that couldn't stop us laughing.

 

When I made my way to the party, the whole hallway was quiet except for my steps on the stone floor.

119, 120, 121, 122, 123!

I knocked at the door, but no one answered. It was weird how quiet it was, shouldn't there be music? I knocked again. And again. But everything remained silent. Had it all been some kind of joke? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself falling for something like that. The only possibility was to just go inside, wasn't it? Maybe this was a test.

Slowly opening the door, I almost expected someone jumping out of the corner into my face. But there was no one. Not a soul. The room itself was clean and tidy, with two desks and two wardrobes, about the size of my own dormitory. Looking around, I took in the desks: A collection of notebooks and pens, some empty water bottles, and cans of chewing gum everywhere. I had always been too curious. On the second desk I found a single piece of paper that read “WARDROBE”. I wasn't going to look into someone else's wardrobe, was I? I figured I was.

Except that it wasn't a wardrobe at all. When I opened the doors, I found myself in front of a dark corridor. These pricks! Of course they had a hidden hallway directly leading to their own dorm! They really were horrible show-offs with this party, but I couldn't help but laugh at the idea.

As I walked down the corridor, the light even switched on! Though a second later, I heard the wardrobe being opened again, and someone tried to catch up with me. So there wasn't a magical force that turned on the light for you. But at least I didn't seem to be on the wrong way.

I stopped in my steps when the person came closer and waited for them to catch up with me.

“You can switch on the light, you know?,” a dark-blonde guy who looked vaguely familiar asked with a crooked grin. I paughted.

“I like being on the dark side,” I joked. “Besides, this is the first time I use this corridor,” I pointed out, and his grin deepened. “I'm Kile.”

Now he had my full attention. “Kile Woodwork?”

He raised his eyebrows, and answered. “Yeah. Glad to know there are still people who don't find the Selection amusing enough to recognize me immediately.”

I laughed. “I'm Jasmine, but you can call me Jas. And to be honest, I have kind of a personal reason not to watch it with the biggest enthusiasm,” I added.

“How come?,” he asked curiously, ”most of the people are just excited.” I could've slapped myself for dropping something like that. I really needed to start controlling my tongue if I didn't want any curious questions.

“For starters, I only started working here on Monday,” I tried to avoid his question. I knew I had to face Raoul eventually, I had made a promise, but the chance hadn't shown yet.

Luckily, Kile caught the hint and changed the topic. “What got you the honor of being invited here then, if it's only been a week?,” he asked sarcastically.

“I'd be a tad less confused if everyone stopped acting as if this party was a big deal!” I grinned. “I met Neena – I suppose you know her – by accident and sat at their table since then,” I said.

Kile nodded. “Why did you choose to work in the palace? Isn't that like trapping yourself?”

“You're feeling trapped in your own home?,” I asked incredulously.

“It's not like I had a choice!”

“And what about the princess?”

“You're telling me! I didn't even properly know her before the Selection!,” he said to my surprise.

I glanced sideways. “And now you do?”

“A lot better, yes.”

I grinned. “Matt and Lucas won't ever shut up about you and Eadlyn though.”

“Really?,” he replied sarcastically, “one day I'll believe we have a thing going on solely because of them.”

I couldn't stop myself. “Don't you?” I resisted the urge to clasp my hands over my babbling mouth. “I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.”

Kile laughed it off. “It's all right.” Still, he changed the topic again: “But I still don't get why you applied for this job, knowing you probably won't be able to leave the palace more than once a week?”

“Money,” I said simply, ”my parents kind of through me out so I needed a job, a house, food... This was actually the best thing that could have happened to me! Besides, it's not like it's uninteresting. It bugs me a little to be directly in the services of other people, but the people I've met so far surely make up for that.” I smiled.

He seemed to understand, and I was grateful he didn't ask further. I wasn't keen on crying in front of strangers because I missed my little brother.

 

Soon enough, I heard music around a corner, and after passing another set of doors, we arrived at the party. I spotted Neena in a corner, talking to some other girls I hadn't met yet. I quickly turned around to Kile, but he had already set off towards Lucas, who was standing at a different table, so I didn't bother. The room was already filling slowly, but I guessed it was still too early for the party to actually start. Neena gave me a hug when I reached her and introduced me to the other girls sitting with her: Lea, Anne and Liz. It was true that I had some kind of a great memory, but I was sure that by midnight, my head would be so full with names that I wouldn't be able to remember anything else. Liz put a glass of something that looked like a fruit bowle into my hands and I took a sip. Of course they even only had the finest drinks in the palace. But of course this bowle was also going to be enough to make me senseless if I ate all the fruits.

By midnight, the cellar room was positively filled with people, and some were finally beginning to dance. I watched them irritably. Why were they having so much fun? My mood had dropped to a degree of utter irritation as I stared at my second glass of bowle. _What did it matter, anyway?_ , I asked myself and downed it, this time with the fruits. With the unfamiliar warmth in my body, the party suddenly didn't seem to be too bad anymore. After a while – and after someone had kindly refilled my glass – I even found myself smiling.

“So... You're not up to dancing?,” came a voice from my right side, ”I would've thought you were.” I turned my head to see Lucas standing in front of me, his face close enough for me to smell the alcohol in his breath. It was a miracle I was still recognizing it. With yet another unfamiliar wave of courage, I jumped up from the sofa. “ Of course I'm dancing!”

I saw the others grinning when I approached the people dancing madly in the middle of the room, my footsteps in the rhythm of the music. It was as if someone had turned a switch in me, and suddenly I was moving along with it. Sometimes I caught a flash of a familiar face in front of me, but then we turned around and I moved on, breathlessly keeping up with the rhythm. In the middle of the dance floor, I caught Lucas's glance. I took his hand and suddenly we were twirling and jumping together, together with the music. I danced myself free, free of my worries, free of my homesickness, free of my unfortunate crush, free of my old life. In that moment, with the music pulsing through my veins, I could really be free.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotted it? I think you did. And oh Jasmine... we'll see how well you are doing tomorrow :D If you're looking forward to meeting Eadlyn, wait until next time!


	6. Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot is happening until the end of the probation month - but what to do afterwards?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know what's going on in the palace now. Enjoy!

The next morning, I woke up with a terrible headache. Newbies always had the weekends off, so I hadn't been bothered to set my alarm clock again, and for the second time this week, I received a nasty shock. It was already past 10am, and I sighed realizing that breakfast would be canceled for me then. And of course I had to be incredibly hungry. I had heard all sorts of things about the morning after getting drunk, but never that one could get so _hungry_... what the hell. I got out of my bed, desperate to at least splash some water into my face, and crossed the deserted corridor. Coming back, I considered doing something against my headache, but I decided against going to the nurses in the hospital wing. I _wasn't_ that badly hungover.

Instead of my uniform, I quickly put on some sport clothing I had brought from home. Maybe I could get to do some running in the garden part reserved for the staff after lunch. Sitting on my bed, I recalled the events of last night. I did remember the majority of it – it wasn't as if I had drunken myself into a blackout. I still remembered the flashing lights and fancy drinks. I still remembered the hypnotic music. I still remembered Lucas's hand in mine as we danced – oh goodness, Lucas. I wasn't ready to think about what it meant yet. Probably nothing.

And lastly, I still knew I had been going back with Neena and some others, but Lucas and Kile had been walking in front of us and seemed to have a rather serious conversation. Nosy as I was, I had found their conversation much more interesting than the girls' chatter, but I couldn't recall everything they had said.

“I still don't know what to do!,” one voice had said, I don't think she'll ever let me leave!”

Loud laughter from behind me had drowned out the next bit, but I could still make out Lucas. “...she promised it! Maybe you'll have a chance soon.”

“Maybe she doesn't want to do it, promise or not. Some things have changed since then, Lucas,” Kile said.

“Are you saying you don't want to leave anymore?” Lucas seemed taken aback.

“No! But I'm not saying I don't have a reason to stay either,” Kile said hopelessly.

Someone behind me had stepped into my shoe, making it impossible to listen.

“... can't have both sometimes, and you've got to decide what's more important,” Lucas said.

“I know what's more important, and it's-” Someone tripped and fell to the floor behind me. “... I just can't stand that I only just got to know this and now I'm supposed to let it go right away.” Kile sounded desperate. “I'm sure I'm not imagining things.”

Lucas answer came earnestly. “I know you aren't. But in the end, is she really worth...” After that, I could only make out some pieces that didn't make the slightest sense to me.

From what I remembered, Kile wanted to leave the palace – it fitted together with him telling me he felt trapped. I wondered why he hadn't left before, but that seemed to be because someone, a she, didn't want to let him go. Was it Eadlyn? Or someone in his family? Anyway, another she (or the same?) had made some kind of nasty promise to get him out of the palace. And then the next part – was he falling in love with Eadlyn or what made him so unsure? I sighed, sure that my nosiness would get me in trouble one day. But I was still too curious to be good for me about the things going on in the palace.

 

When I got into the kitchens for lunch, I already saw Maria sitting at our table, while the others seemed to have a different shift. She smirked when I fell into the seat next to her. “Missing breakfast because of a hangover? Wouldn't have expected you to.”

I groaned. It was enough when Lucas mocked me about my sleeping habits. “It's not that bad! I just overslept it,” I said, but Maria was still grinning.

“Oh, then you don't have any headache, or a sore throat, or...” She raised her eyebrows.

“Well I do, but that's not the point,” I defended myself. “It's not like I blacked out or anything.”

She was still mocking me. “Aw poor thing,” she said.

I poked her into the ribs. “Having fun, are you? Come on, I'm starving!”

Over lunch, I told Maria about everything I had heard or seen at the party, including Matt making out with at least three different girls. “Stupid git,” she said carelessly, “I wonder what they see in him.” I could only agree to that, but I still thought he was always good for a laugh, if that counted for anything.

“Do you want to go for a run in the staff gardens?,” I asked her, and she agreed.

“Though I'm not actually good at it,” she warned, but I waved it off. It wasn't like I was a running champion.

Even the staff part of the gardens would probably never stop to amaze me, it was too beautiful. A run was exactly what I needed right now.

 

Our next week started off with great news. We were following someone else around for the maid week, and I was lucky enough to go with Neena, who grinned at me as if she had personally arranged it. Maria wasn't so lucky: Her companion was a grumpy-looking woman who seemed to be in an everlasting bad mood. As I set off for the sewing rooms with Neena, I grew more excited. This felt more like the job I had signed up for.

“I know you won't exactly be disappointed, but I still have to tell you that you won't interact with princess Eadlyn this week, even though I am her personal maid. I'm afraid she wouldn't be exactly pleased when someone else intruded her personal space,” Neena said seriously, but I saw one corner of her mouth twitching, and I broke into a grin.

“Oh no,” I squealed sarcastically, “I had such high expectations!”

We both laughed as Neena pulled out a key ring and opened the door to a huge sewing room.

“Do I get one of these too?,” I joked.

“Depends on your job, I suppose,” Neena said.

I saw at once why the room needed to be locked from the outside. The amount of expensive-looking fabrics rolled up against the walls and the number of beautiful suits and dresses was incredible. I couldn't imagine creating something like that. Neena led me over to a corner, greeting several people along the way.

She rested her hands on her hips. “What do you know about sewing?”

“I think I can do some basics – but no dress,” I admitted.

She rummaged through a pile of fabric on her desk and pulled out what seemed like cloth for a pillow. Along with it came a piece of paper with detailed information. I had been right.

“I'm sorry if this is a dumb work, but I really don't have the time for it,” Neena said with an apologetic smile, “you can start pinning these together, and if you're doing it good you can also sew the pillows.”

“Great.”

It wasn't an actually boring work because I had to concentrate on doing it precisely, but my mind was unoccupied and kept wandering off. Was Thommy all right? I just hoped our parents didn't give him a hard time because of what I had done. And in the palace, what were the others doing? Was Maria doing all right? And Lucas? Did he still remember us dancing? The thought was haunting, mainly because I knew he had been dancing with others, and he probably didn't think about it anymore, but I still kept thinking back. And here was my bisexual mind, saying after Raoul I'd avoid crushing on guys at all costs. _Stop it_. I wasn't crushing on Lucas.

After I had pinned the pieces of five pillows together, Neena showed me the actual sewing. It wasn't that difficult – and I suddenly understood that a dress wasn't totally different. It was simply a different fabric, with more layers and more stitches, but it wasn't impossible. Well, it _was_ impossible in the speed Neena did it.

“Right, let's have a look if everything is all right in Eadlyn's room,” Neena suggested.

I was immediately amazed by the room the moment I entered. The interior design had clearly been the work of an expert. Everything fitted together perfectly, from the mirror on the wall and the huge bed in the corner to the curtains on the balcony doors. To create a room like this – it was a dream.

“Stared enough?,” Neena asked me with an amused smile.

“It's a perfect example of design,” I explained, “that's what I want to do when I study.”

Neena nodded with her back turned to me while she was arranging the bed sheets.

“I think it's lacking life, though,” I said, “life and liberty. Isn't there someone living in here?”

Neena snorted. “You should see the wardrobe, if that's not lively, then I don't know.”

Why was everyone asking me to look into wardrobes lately? But Neena had already opened the doors of the giant white closet and had immediately taken a step back. I gasped. Who would have thought the princess would be able to make such a mess with her precious dresses?

Neena grinned. “Now what did you say? Besides, the tidiness is mostly my work, not hers.”

Which was likely. It was inhumanly tidy in this room.

By the end of the week, I knew where the cleaning stuff was, I had been amazed at the number of people solely working in the sewing rooms, I had brought a princess's laundry to the laundry rooms, and I knew that Neena spend the majority of her days in the company of Eadlyn. That gave me enough time in the sewing room to sew my own dress. It wasn't fancy or luxurious, but it did look good, and even Neena approved of it. I didn't know if I'd ever have the occasion to wear it, but maybe the show-off inside would find one just to see Lucas and the others being impressed.

 

The week in the kitchens didn't bring as much excitement. Besides getting my revenge on Maria for mocking me for my hangover, it wasn't that flattering, but her state at 3am was certainly closer to a hangover than I had been on said Saturday. It was hilarious.

I was still concerned about Sam though – how could it not be child labor when a fourteen-year-old boy started working? And he hadn't stopped until now! But I didn't ask him again, because he clearly didn't liked the topic – I had to admit it wasn't the most enjoyable one. After all, it was possible he was an orphan, or his parents were ill. I told myself it didn't have to do anything with Thommy, but I kept imagining him working like this, without any support from his family. The thought made me sick.

We had planned to spend our free Saturday in the sun of the staff gardens, but when Maria leaped through the backdoor leading to it, she already seemed to be out of breath. “You won't believe what I just overheard!,” she panted, “the princess is having a group date with four of her suitors this evening, and they're off _cooking_! Can you imagine? We could just stay in the kitchens after dinner and-” I grinned. It technically wasn't our shift, but who cared?

“Let's ask the chiefs, before anyone else can!,” I said, and we were off to the kitchens.

The head chief was grinning broadly at out suggestion of helping them this evening, obviously he knew what we were up to. But it didn't turn out to be a problem, so we dashed off for the gardens.

 

After earning a whole lot of jealous looks at dinner, we stayed in the kitchens with a white apron tied around our bodies.

“All right, how much do you two know about cooking?,” one of the chiefs asked.

We exchanged a glance. “I know the basics, but nothing fancy,” I said carefully, and Maria nodded.

“All right, you can work on the potatoes over there,” he said, pointing to a table next to the space that had been cleared for the group date. I threw another happy glance in Maria's direction, and we thanked the chief.

“No, it's all right,” he said, “as long as you can be useful.” We both started on a huge pile of potatoes that needed to be skinned, and after about ten minutes, the princess came in, together with five of the guys. I recognized Kile right beside her, with one rather heavy-looking guy eagerly trying to catch up with them. Behind them were another blonde guy and a boy with a happy smile who was talking to the fifth one who had his hands stuffed into his pockets. When they passed us, I could hear them talking in a foreign language, and Maria poked me into the side. “That's Henri, I've heard. He only speaks Finish, so his translator follows him everywhere,” she explained. I watched them with a new interest. How was he going to be king when he couldn't speak the country's language? I nodded towards the oven, where Eadlyn and Kile had drawn a giant cooking book out of a shelf. “That's Kile, the one living in the palace. He was at the party yesterday, and seemed like a really decent person,” I whispered. I blushed thinking about how shamelessly I had first danced with Lucas and then overheard his conversation with Kile. We continued on our potatoes when a photographer came out of a corner and started to take photos of the three cooking groups.

“I would go _mad_ if someone ruined all my dates by taking photos!,” Maria said in a tone of outrage, “how can you enjoy them like that?”

I could only agree. Was that photographer staying all night? No wonder Eadlyn appeared stressed when she talked about the Selection.

It seemed like the groups were not all as happy about how the date went so far as Henri and his translator opposite of us, who were acting quite professional on a cinnamon dessert. We could hear Kile and Eadlyn laughing when something went wrong, but the other two suitors seemed to be arguing. The taller one was most likely trying to catch Eadlyn's attention by accusing his leaner partner of burning the asparagus. It worked, because Eadlyn sighed and made a round to talk to each one of the suitors, but I doubted she would remember his scene with a positive impression.

I had been staring too much, because Kile had spotted me standing behind the Henri and his translator. He shot us a highly amused look before going back to his chicken.

The group date didn't get interesting again until the actual cooking was finished and the six of them sat down at a table in the middle of their space. Kile and Eadlyn's chicken seemed to be actually tasty, but then it was the asparagus's turn. I exchanged a glance with Maria at the look on Eadlyn's face when she tasted the vegetable, and we both had to try really hard not to burst out into laughter. It seemed the suitors' constant bickering hadn't helped cooking the asparagus.

“Excuse me,” came the photographer's voice from earlier from behind us, and she ducked behind our desk to shoot photos. As I was still watching her, Maria gasped. I whipped my head around again just in time to see the bigger suitor aiming straight across the table to hit the leaner one. In seconds, everything was chaos. While the leaner boy still tried to escape, Kile and Henri tried to stop the violent one from hitting anyone else. Eadlyn seemed to have ducked on the floor and escaped the kitchens with Henri's translator, who urged her forward and out through the main doors. The photographer between us just kept whispering thing like “amazing” and “that's _the_ story”, until I lost my nerve.

“Get. Out. Of these kitchens!,” I yelled after yet another wave of clicks. She gaped at me, mouth wide open, but she seemed to realize she had enough evidence and let me drag her out of the kitchens.

“I can't believe you just took part for Eadlyn,” Maria said, “goodness, was this woman annoying.”

“True,” I replied, “though I don't know what got into _them_ either” - I pointed to the guys who seemed to have calmed down a little by now. One of the chiefs had reached them and ordered them to go to the hospital wing at once. They did look awful: Henri had a huge bruise right above his eye, Kile's lip was bleeding and the third guy could barely walk. The fourth one seemed fine, but he wasn't looking anyone in the eye. Maybe he was ashamed of what he did, or he pretended to be.

Obviously the fight was _the_ topic for the next few days. Maria and I drowned in questions about it, while the guy who had initiated the fight, Burke Renn, was sent home immediately. After Maria had mentioned it once, she had to tell Lucas about a hundred times about how I had dragged that photographer out of the kitchens, and I kept hearing people wondering why the other guys hadn't been thrown out as well. To be honest, the press photos made it look like they were all having a good fight. I agreed with the decision to keep Kile, Henri and Fox though, but that was due to seeing it myself.

 

The next week wasn't fun. Our job was basically to run around the hallways, on request for anyone who wanted to order something. We mostly pendled between the office wing and the kitchens for tea and biscuits for advisers and secretaries, which was the most boring thing I had ever done.

But in this week, I also discovered the great advantage of wearing a staff uniform: You could go anywhere in the palace, because no one would ever doubt your intentions. So when I didn't have anything to do, I just wandered around (looking busy, of course). When I passed the guest rooms on the second floor one day, I curiously tried to peer into the suitors' rooms, but to my disappointment, they were all closed. I had been examining the door to my left when I suddenly realized I was walking straight into someone else. I stopped abruptly. It was Raoul.

“Jasmine?,” he called incredulously, and I nodded. “What are you doing here?”

I awkwardly pointed to my uniform. “Obviously I'm working here, it's kind of a long story.” I smiled. “What about you though? How is the Selection going?” It was astonishingly easy to ask – I was testing my limits with him, and my heart didn't complain. Maybe I had managed it. I was over him. It wasn't impossible, considering the fact that I hadn't even thought about him for the last days, or weeks. And recently, there had been someone else filling my thoughts.

Raoul shrugged, bringing me back to the second floor corridor. “I don't think it's bad. But I don't think I have a chance, either.”

“Why are you still here, then?”

“Enjoying the company, I guess.” He smiled.

“Not avoiding Lish?,” I asked sharply, “she's been worried about you, because you don't tell anything, you don't call and when you do you don't talk.”

He took a step back, wearing a confused expression at my accusation.

I sighed. “Maybe you should call her,” I suggested, “just to clear things up. She believes you're distant, and she's worried if you still care about her.”

“I certainly will.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Thank you for telling me though.”

“I still want you guys to be happy,” I said and wished him luck for the Selection.

Coming to think about our little conversation, it hadn't been weird at all.

That night on the phone, Alisia was ecstatic.

“Oh, thank you so much Jas! Raoul finally called me, and he said he'd been talking to you... I'm so glad he didn't actually _meant_ to be this distant! I was almost sure there had been some terrifying reason.”

I couldn't help but smile at that. “No problem at all! If anything, I'm sorry it took me so long to get to it. I simply ran into him today. Almost literally,” I said with a laugh.

She started laughing at once, and I was so relieved to hear her being happy again that I could have run straight to Paloma and hugged her.

“Was it awkward, though?,” she asked between two stifled laughs.

“Nahh.” I grinned. “I was surprised myself.”

We kept laughing cheerfully at anything and nothing until well past midnight, and I couldn't help but to want her in my life as long as possible.

 

On Friday, all of us Newbies were asked to fill out a new application form: the one asking us where we would like to work from no on. I sat in front of the form for what felt like hours. Why hadn't I thought about this before? In the end, I made my cross for working with the personal maids, hoping to get a job down in the sewing rooms. I wasn't entirely happy yet, but I just had to look forward. _Only one year_ , I told myself, _then it will be enough. Then I'll be able to live my dream._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, that thing is out of the way. I'm pretty sure you know what's going on by now. Now we can all just hope she gets that job, right? Right.


	7. Take Some Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasmine's freshly gained courage is tested - one way or the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really proud of this to be quite honest, it was a lot of fun. Enjoy!

As Neena had the Saturday off too, she had asked me if I wanted to go to the city of Angeles with her. “Come on, you're going to meet Mark there!,” she had said, full of excitement herself. Mark was Neena's boyfriend and a scientist who was usually working on a project up in Columbia, so him coming to Angeles was a rare occasion. Lucas was coming as well, but everyone else had to work or – in Maria's case – planned on spending the sunny day in the garden part reserved for the staff to relax. Angeles sounded great though – alone for the fact that it was at the beach! So on Saturday morning, even Matt couldn't deflate my mood, even if he kept telling everyone Lucas and I were going on a double date with Neena and Mark. This guy had nerves, I couldn't believe it. But even Maria ended up smirking at me, although I suspected she was the only one who noticed I wasn't even opposed to the proposition. I could have slapped myself. I was _not_ looking forward to the day because I was spending it with Lucas. Maybe Matt _was_ influencing me by now.

The three of us took the bus after leaving through one of the staff entrances in casual clothing. I had a vague feeling that we probably would have been suspected as terrorists if we took the front portal looking like this.

Throughout the whole journey, Neena was basically bubbling with joy. When she saw Mark at the bus stop, I was positive she was going to explode from it right there. It was great to see her in such a delightful mood, and even Lucas didn't find a word to mock her for it, which definitely stood for something. Mark seemed to be just the same: It was obvious that he was as happy to see his girlfriend again as she was, as they just ran straight into each other's arms.

It turned out that he was about to even improve her day. When we were all sitting in a tiny cafè directly at the beach, he casually dropped that he would be working on a new project starting in November – in Angeles! That meant they could technically see each other nearly every day. What a great surprise for Neena! She was positively ecstatic about it, and I could see them beaming at each other across the table next to me.

After the good-news-bomb had been released, I eyed the others. “Anyone else who wants to go to the beach?,” I asked. I had even taken my swimsuit with me, and I wouldn't let this opportunity pass.

When Neena and Mark both shook their heads, I looked at Lucas. He raised a challenging eyebrow, and I felt my stomach twist. But then he just grinned. “Sure thing.”

Luckily, the beach in front of us was a public one that wasn't too full yet, so I quickly changed in one of the tiny cabins and stuffed my bag into a locker. I turned around just in time to see a devilish smirk on Lucas's face. Was this boy _trying_ to turn my knees into pudding?

“Bet you can't run as fast as me.” And then he was off, getting himself one hell of a head start. But he had done the equation without the fact that I had learned to run on the sand of Paloma's beaches – I caught up with him a few meters before reaching the white-blue waves of the sea. We ran into it almost at the same time, both laughing so hard that people were beginning to stare.

I dodged a splash of salty water from Lucas and dived into the waves. The warm water was a lot cleaner than I had expected after years at the local beach in Paloma, and I couldn't stop staring at the echinoids on the ground with their spines in every color I could possibly imagine.

Eventually, I got up, and sure enough, as soon as my head ducked out of the water, a huge splash hit my face.

“Oh wait until you get that one back!,” I yelled at Lucas who was shaking with laughter a few meters away. Before he knew it, I reached him and tried to push his head under the water, but he was stronger than me and we both ended up doubling over and still laughing.

When he stood and blinked the water out of his eyes, I shoved another huge splash of water right into his face, starting the fight all over again with the wide smile still on my face.

After we got out of the water, dripping wet and red-eyed from the salt, we lay in the sun on our towels. “Can you believe this is an actual job? Like, you could be a life guard at the beach, watch the people and at the end of the day you can go swimming yourself? What a life,” I said after a while.

Lucas laughed. “I need a little more action, if I'm honest.”

“I could get a bucket of water and empty it on your head, if you want action.” I grinned.

“Where'd you get a bucket?,” Lucas said with an annoyingly cute smirk. _This was the end_. I had _not_ just called him cute, right? I had.

“Well, hypothetically I could steal it from that child over there” - I pointed behind me - “but as I am no evil person, I won't,” I said despite my blush.

“I thought you were pretty evil when you splashed that water right into my eyes,” he accused.

“But so are you, then!,” I protested.

“True.”

“If being a life guard isn't enough action for you, what kind of job would you want to do? Or are you planning on staying in the palace for ever?,” I asked.

He tried to shrug, which immediately caused me to laugh once again because shrugging was just impossible when you were lying on the ground. “Oh shut it, would you! I actually never really thought about leaving yet, because it's been my whole life. But I think I'd love to be a journalist.”

I raised my eyebrows, thinking about the annoying photographers in the palace.

“Not one of those asshole celebrity reporters!,” he said, “but a real journalist. I want to talk to homeless people, to those who suffer from post-caste discrimination, to the people who don't have a voice, and I want to tell their stories. Sounds pathetic, right?”

“It doesn't, actually,” I said thinking about it, “it actually sounds really interesting. More interesting than my plans, anyway.”

“What are you up to, then?,” he wanted to know.

“I'd love to study interior design,” I said simply.

“I'll call you for my house then, once Kile has finished designing the building,” he joked, “he studies architecture.”

Gaining confidence, I pulled a piece of paper and a pencil out of my bag. “What does your dream room look like?,” I asked Lucas.

“Round,” he said promptly, smiling smugly.

“You're testing me,” I stated, but I started drawing. “Do you want the floor and ceiling to be even or do you actually want a sphere?”

“Are you taking this seriously?,” he asked incredulously, “then I want a sphere.”

It was by far the craziest room I had ever dreamed up. The bed, the doors, the windows, the cupboards, everything was round.

“You're good,” Lucas observed when he looked at the finished sketch.

“Thanks. Do you want to keep it?”

“You should keep it, and put it in your application for university,” he insisted, so I put it back into my bag for later. Maybe this was going to be the start.

 

After meeting up with Neena and Mark again, we returned to the palace. With a brief stop at the kitchens to meet up with Elli, Maria and Matt, the plan apparently included a surprise for Maria and me, because Matt was throwing around great announcements again. I exchanged a glance with Maria – what was it with these four and their secrets?

But for the record, this one actually turned out to be quite impressive. After climbing what felt like thousands of steps of a spiral staircase, we had arrived on a roof platform. The best thing about it was the view. Now at dusk, the city of Angeles was already visible with all it's bright lights, but I couldn't make out the ocean yet. Towards the mainland, the landscape seemed to be endless, like the ocean must have been on the other side. On the other side of the platform, I noticed a small ladder leading up to the crest of the roof that was surrounded by a low fencing on both sides. Probably the caretaker's terrain.

“Has anyone of you ever been up there?,” I asked, “I'm pretty sure you'll get to walk right up to the other end of the roof.”

“Nope. Do you want to try?,” Matt challenged.

“Actually, yes. Who's coming?”

“Jas, are you sure about this?,” Neena asked with a concerned look, “I'm not sure it's safe.”

“I'm sure,” I said.

“I'll do it.” That came from Lucas.

“Could anyone tell me what happened that made you follow her around like a puppy,” Elli said dryly, and I couldn't fight the unnecessary blush at that. Clearly Lucas wasn't following me around.

“I'm not following anyone around,” he said to Elli.

I had heard enough of their banter, and started climbing the ladder. It was surprisingly stable, so I was standing on the flat crest quickly and took a few steps forward to make space for Lucas. As soon as he was standing as well, I continued walking. It felt like the edge of the world up here, or at least of the palace.

“Jas, don't you think we should go back by now?,” Lucas called from behind me.

“What, are you scared of heights?,” I called back through the wind.

He called back immediately. “No! But I don't particularly like them either!”

But I had spotted another little platform in front of us, and it was even nearer than the one where we had been before.

“Come on, it's just a few steps left! You'll get there.”

Gently placing one foot in front of the other, I reached the platform, with Lucas joining me a few steps behind.

“Are you completely mad?,” he breathed.

I laughed. “I think I have the opposite of a fear of heights.”

“A fear of depths?,” he asked. Because of the height, I resisted to urge to shove him.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

I looked around. Now I was finally able to see the ocean, and it was incredible. I thought I could even smell the salty water from up here. To our left, the roof went up even higher, and a long rope was hanging from the fence. We seemed to be above the corner of the palace, because in front of us and on the right side, the huge gardens stretched out. I took a step further to look down the facade, spotting an open window right below our platform.

Suddenly I felt a grip around my arm. “Stop! You're freaking me out! What if you fall down?” Lucas was holding me back.

“I won't.” I grinned, but I also took a step back. “Isn't it wonderful up here?” I sat down.

“Yeah. Absolutely magnificent,” Lucas said through gritted teeth, but he said down beside me.

I suddenly felt guilty about basically forcing him up here. ”I'm sorry for the trouble. Do you want to go back?”

“Forget it,” he said at that, “I'm not taking that way back.”

“What then? Stay here all night?” He shrugged.

But then I knew how to get him back that way. “Okay listen, I have another crazy plan. Do you see this rope?” I pointed to my left. “Right below this platform, there is an open window. If we take the rope, we might be able to swing ourselves inside. Not as safe as the crest, but at least quicker.” Now he had to back out. What I had just suggested was impossible.

“Do you know that you're scaring me, Jasmine Teach? But I really need to get out of here now.” He reached for the rope, and I gasped.

“I wasn't being serious!”

“It didn't sound too bad for me,” Lucas grinned, delighted that he had turned the tables.

“Are you actually ready for this?,” I asked.

He looked anxious. “Not really, no. But you should know that this is all your fault!”

I held his gaze. “You'll be fine. Trust me, you will. And if you find Eadlyn snogging one of her suitors in that room, you'll better announce me, or she'll get a double heart attack.”

He grinned, looking a little more confident now. Gripping the rope tightly, he pushed himself towards the edge and let himself slide down the facade. The lucky guy was tall enough that he reached the windowsill in next to no time! He slowly climbed into the window and gave me a thumbs-up.

“Your turn,” he shouted from below.

I grabbed the rope and swung myself over the edge. I carefully placed my feet onto the facade and slid down until I reached the window. With one last swing, I landed inside.

“That was fun!,” I commented, pulling the hair out of my face.

Lucas shook his head at me, but he had his usual expression back and looked relaxed. “Let's get the others.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Jasmine might be killing someone in the future if she continues testing out her new perspective of being brave. For your information, this was the last chapter taking place during The Heir, next will come the plot alterations I already told you about, but again: Keadlyn is endgame in this one, if you find that important (I guess you do).


	8. Disappointment, Hope And Other Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if one gets disappointed, even if the week is full of bad news, there might be a new chance. And Jasmine is good at taking them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Eadlyn in this one and the following chapters. Enjoy!

The next morning brought our application results – unnecessarily folded in a thick envelope. I opened mine with a rush of excitement at the breakfast table.

 

_Dear Ms Teach,_

_You applied for the department of the personal maid personnel. However, we must inform you that due to a huge number of applications in that department, we had to draw the names via sortition and you haven't been drawn._

 

There went my hope. What were they going to do with me now?

 

_Until another application round will be opened (probably around March), we can offer you to work in the general service of the palace. Please visit the personnel office if you wish to sign the contract._

 

Great. Another six months running around. I groaned.

 

_With best regards,_

_Your personnel department adviser,_

_Cedric O'Connor_

 

He could shove his best regards up his ass, this Cedric O'Connor with his stupid sortition. I'd bet my head he had picked the jobs himself. Next to me, Maria was celebrating. “I've been chosen for the garden work! I can't believe it!”

I quickly arranged a smile on my face. “Congrats! Sadly, I didn't get it. But I can still work in the general service.”

“Aw, I'm sorry,” Maria said, “you'll get through it until the next round, I'm sure about that.”

“Yes,” supported Neena who was also in our breakfast shift, “and you might get a chance out of order – I got my job in the middle of the month too.”

“Thanks. I guess I'll be okay,” I assured them. But the truth was, I was disappointed. Especially hearing Tony's voice shouting from the other end of the room, as he wondered loudly whose personal butler he was going to be, didn't help. But in the end, it was only half a year. Compared to the time in university I would get by this, it was nothing.

 

The thought of this, and the support of Maria, Neena and surprisingly even Lucas got me through the following week. It took until the next Friday afterwards for something remotely interesting to happen.

When I entered the kitchens for lunch that day, something was off. The usual chatter and noise had been replaced by a dull, depressing silence I had never thought was possible down here. I quickly slid into the seat next to Lucas.

“What's going on?,” I murmured and scanned our table, “where's Neena? She's supposed to be in our shift today.”

Lucas wore an expression as if someone had died. “Queen America... she had a heart attack, something running in the family. Neena is off supporting Eadlyn, I suppose.”

I clasped a hand over my mouth. “But she... she's still alive, isn't she?”

“Unconscious,” Lucas said, “but everyone is in shock. Especially the king, he won't leave her side.”

I nodded, letting the horrible news sink in.

“To top it all off, her brother has left,” he continued, “you know his girlfriend, the french princess who visited last week? He basically ran off with her and they got married. Eadlyn must have been such a wreck.”

“Rumor has it she will take over the duties until her mother wakes up to give her father a bit more time, and that she is cutting down the Selection to six guys,” he added, “but that's just what people are saying by now. I don't think it's important right now.”

“I never dreamed I'd ever say this, but I'm sorry for her,” I admitted, it must be truly horrible without her mother, and the public still pressing on her to make decisions over decisions...”

I looked up to see Lucas examining his fork. “Yeah, must be,” he said dimly.

 

The mood in the next days didn't improve, and the dull silence had taken over everything. The report had confirmed what Lucas had already told me: Eadlyn was temporarily queen, and to stop a bit of the stress, she had cut down the Selection. That left only Gunnar, Fox who had been the one beaten in the kitchen fight, Henri, Hale, Ean and Kile. Raoul had apparently taken it with humor, as he had already suspected he didn't stand a chance, and Lish had texted me he'd also been happy to be back in Paloma. She was still mocking him for the groups of fan girls at the airport though.

The next occasion I could talk to Neena only presented itself at breakfast the second day after that, after what must have been a terrible three days for her. I was the first one at our table as usual, so I was the only one who saw her come in, and I was struck that though she still looked concerned, she seemed to be happy.

“You won't believe it!,” she said as soon as she reached me, “I know I shouldn't be too happy considering the circumstances, but... Eadlyn made me her lady-in-waiting!” Completely caught off guard by her outburst, I threw my arms around her.

“Congrats! But what does it mean, exactly?,” I asked curiously, “what do you have to do?”

“I'm basically organizing her schedule and I can give my advice. Oh, and I don't have to wear a uniform anymore!” I looked down to see she was indeed wearing a nice gray dress instead of the usual white and blue, which I hadn't noticed before. I beamed. “That's great Neena! I'm sure you can do more than just clean and sew dresses!”

“If I can, I'll still meet you guys at the meals though.”

I hugged her again. “This is absolutely amazing. You so deserve it!” It was true. From what I knew, Neena had been working so hard for the past few years, and if there was anyone who'd understand Eadlyn and her schedule better than her, or anyone who could do the job better, I'd eat a broomstick.

But she hadn't finished yet. “Anyway, it's good I found you here, because I need to choose a new maid for Eadlyn. Will you do it?”

“Me?” I was shocked. Hadn't they just told me I wasn't good enough for the job?

Neena shrugged. “It's my decision. You're talented enough at sewing and that stuff, you learn quickly, and you aren't entirely happy with your current job, are you?”

I tried to protest. “But that doesn't mean...”

“I know,” Neena said calmly, “but you're also smart and brave enough to put up with her. It's not easy, I know, but she doesn't need a little girl who just nods and says yes to everything she does. I trust you to speak up for yourself if it's necessary.” I smiled. Who would have thought I could be trusted with that barely three months ago?

“Look,” Neena continued, “maybe it's disgusting to you to have to do anything just to make her feel comfortable, but I swear, she's not a bad person.” I sighed. It was true what she was saying, probably all of it. And it was also true that it'd be a huge improvement to running through the corridors with a tea pot all day.

“Fine. I'll do it,” I said.

Neena's eyes widened, and I realized she hadn't even expected me to agree with her.

“Great! You can start tomorrow after breakfast, should we meet before so I can show you some things? Oh, and you should probably talk to Mr. O'Connor about it.”

“Sure.” I high-fived her just before the others arrived and the happy news were spread all over the table.

 

“I thought you disliked princess Eadlyn a whole lot,” Lucas said during dinner that day, when only the two of us were in the second shift. I had to admit I had been panicking about it for the last three days, but all the fuss had been for nothing. It was nothing more than normal dinner, for goodness's sake.

“I did, actually,” I admitted, “I also had a crush on the Selected from my province, he's my best friend's brother.” I didn't know why I told him, because clearly I had just given him another information he could mock me for.

He smirked. “Had or have?”

I wanted to smack him. “Had.”

“Have you been talking to him while he was still here?,” Lucas asked curiously.

“Yeah, once. I needed to clear things up between him and Lish, because they had this misunderstanding,” I explained.

“Not more often?” He still wouldn't let go of the topic, would he?

“Nope,” I said truthfully. Then I suddenly had to grin. “Why, are you jealous?”

He snorted. “What are you dreaming of at night?” But I'd have _sworn_ his cheeks had gone a slight pink. Oh no. Making Lucas blush was definitely an ice that was too thin to walk on.

I quickly needed to change the topic, or I was going to break in. “Anyway, I don't hate her anymore. I'm pretty sure I can do the job even if she's still a spoiled brat, and she's going through a rough time after all.”

“Yeah, I know. And it's probably better than before for you, isn't it?”

“Of course! Have you ever tried working in the general service? I don't know how anyone can stand it,” I said.

“I know, it's horrible,” he agreed, “some people can do it though, look at Elli!”

“I'm happier with what I have now, though. It seems Neena was right again when she said I might get another chance.”

 

The next morning, Neena led me up to the third floor. “I think I've already told you the basics of everything you need to know,” she said on our way up. “But you know, if you need help you can either try to find me or ask anyone else.”

I nodded. Taking care of Eadlyn's room didn't seem too difficult after all. Maybe I'd need help with the sewing at first, but I knew I could do it.

In front of the door, Neena stopped. “I've got to go and organize another meeting, sorry.”

I smiled. “Good luck!”

“You, too,” Neena called back, already jogging down the hallway.

I took a deep breath. I knew fully well that no one would be inside, but this still felt terrifying. _Come on, Jasmine. You've literally been in there before._

The room already looked perfect to me, but thanks to my week with Neena, I knew what I had to do. After ruffling the sheets, cleaning the shelves off the dust and quickly freeing the bathroom from any stains of calcium, it was time to get the post. Most of it went straight to her office, but the personal stuff belonged into her room, and I was curious to have a look into the post office.

Surprisingly, there was already something for me to take: It was a bunch of flowers, including a card. I quickly fetched a vase from a cupboard in the hallway and put it into Eadlyn's room.

Back there, curiosity got the better of me. The card was signed _Marid Illéa_. I was taken aback. Everyone knew Marid Illéa, descendant of the country's founder Gregory Illéa and popular voice of the upcoming radio station _Illéa Alive_. Why did he send flowers to Eadlyn, who was in the middle of a Selection, of all things? I regarded the bunch again, he had certainly made an effort. Was it possible he was trying to steal her away from the Selection?

Soon enough, Eadlyn was back, looking rather startled to find me in her room. I curtsied quickly. “Your highness,” I greeted, which felt incredibly awkward, “someone had these delivered to you this morning.”

She spotted the card and shot me a glance that showed she knew fully well that I had already read it. She frowned at the sight of the signature.

“What is your name, by the way?,” she asked suddenly.

“Oh sorry, I'm Jasmine,” I said, hoping not to sound too excited.

“Do you know Marid Illéa?”

I nodded.

“Why do you reckon he's sending me flowers?”

It was no use pretending I was surprised, and I chose my words carefully. “It seems, your highness, that the Selection has gained another participant.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, the Marid problem. Jasmine will have a bigger role than Eloise had for Eadlyn (obviously). I'm pretty sure that no one in the palace would have taken America's heart attack well because I suspect she was popular, so that's where the staff's reaction came from. And mind you, I'm really proud of that ending sentence.


	9. Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news around for everyone - and in the end, some things can't be denied anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the fans of Kile out there - you'll like this one. Plus, Jasmine is throwing around with advice but gets stuck in her own drama. Enjoy!

A few days later, I nearly panicked when Eadlyn didn't show up back in her room after breakfast, and she wasn't in her office either. I didn't know what had gotten into me, but this change from the usual schedule was throwing me off. As I ran through the hallways looking for her, I almost ran into general Leger, a guard and close friend of the Schreaves. Nearly everyone in the entire staff was paying him a huge amount of respect, too.

“Excuse me, have you seen princess Eadlyn this morning?,” I asked him.

His eyes widened in surprise. “You don't know yet? She's probably still in the hospital wing. Her mother woke up this morning!” A genuine smile spread over his features at that.

“That's amazing,” I exclaimed. “Thanks for your help though!” 

 

Working with Eadlyn was now half as unpleasant as I had always thought. I had learned quickly that she was mostly stressed and still worried about her mother, but she was actually good at what she was doing. Except maybe the Selection.

Four days after the queen had woken up and I was just cleaning the room with the vacuum cleaner, there was a knock on the door. I quickly skipped over.

“Princess Eadlyn is not- Oh, it's you,” I said at the sight of Kile standing in the door frame.

“Calmly, Jas. Lucas told me about your new job. How is it going?”

I stepped out of the doorway to let him inside. “Quite good actually. How are you?”

“I'm fine. But just in case you meant the Selection, it's going well too.”

I smiled a little guiltily. “What makes you say so?,” I asked curiously.

“Went on a date some days ago, and something definitely changed. Can you imagine we were actually talking about our relationship?”

I grinned. “I can, actually. Eadlyn's pretty mad about the fact that she likes you.”

“I _know_. It's rather infuriating.”

“What are you planning next?,” I asked him.

“I was actually going to ask you to let me stay until she's back.” He laughed.

I raised my eyebrows. “What are you up to?,” I asked, but he merely shrugged.

“I just want to spend some time with her.”

I almost snorted. “There aren't any other ways to arrange that, right?”

He grinned. “Sometimes I need to take the advantage I already have.”

I watched him curiously, thinking back to what I had overheard several weeks before. “I thought you wanted to leave the palace to study.”

“True,” he admitted, “I still want to. But I also want to stay, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which one I want more.”

“Are you sure she'd pick if _you_ were sure about your feelings?,” I asked carefully.

“No. But I'm willing to find out.”

I sighed. “Then I'll leave you to it. She'll be back in around fifteen minutes, I suppose.”

I was already half out the door, when he suddenly held me back. “Are you coming to the roof tonight? You've been there before, right?”

“Yeah I have. What's going on there tonight?”

“Ah, you should just come. It's probably just the usual sitting and talking, pretty relaxed,” he said.

“Okay. Can I trust you not to break anything in here?,” I joked, and he grinned.

“Does that apply to hearts, too?”

I threw him a concerned glance. “ _Especially_ to those. One should always take care of them.”

 

The invitation was repeated at dinner to Maria and me by Matt, who was looking as if he had won the Oscar, while Lucas didn't seem too happy about the proposition of being on the roof again.

“I'm not taking any risks this time,” he whispered to me while Matt was trying to invite two girls who were passing our table.

“Don't worry,” I replied, “me neither.”

 

When Maria and I climbed the staircase towards the platform this time, we could already hear the cheerful voices coming from above. People were sitting in a circle, and I sat down between Lucas and Neena, while Maria walked over to a girl who was working in the gardens as well. As far as I remembered, her name was Liz. For once, I could just relax, and despite the people around me, I just gazed upwards to see the stars. It was a perfect night.

From my right side, Neena offered me a bottle of rosé wine, and I took a sip of it before handing it over to Lucas, who refused. I was a little concerned about the others, as getting drunk on the roof of a palace with four floors didn't seem like the best idea.

When around fifteen people had arrived, Matt snatched an empty bottle of wine from behind him. “Okay, so let's play kiss or slap,” he suggested, and I groaned. I had hated this game from the very first moment of it, and this was not what I had come here for.

Surprisingly, I got support from Elli. “That's for drunk people, you know? I'm still too sober for this nonsense, and I swear, no one should get actually drunk up here.”

“Come on, it's still fun. Besides, I think our spirits are good enough.”

To be honest, _my_ spirits had just dropped to a minus degree. But I wasn't going to say anything like that.

“Wait, how does it even work?,” Maria asked anxiously.

Matt grinned broadly, seizing his chance. “Well, one person spins the bottle. The person it lands on will cover their eyes, as everyone else except the spinner has a vote. You either vote kiss” - he put his thumb up - “or slap.” - he put his thumb down. “Afterwards, the person the bottle landed on can open their eyes and will – not knowing anything – get either kissed or slapped by the spinner.”

Maria rolled her eyes at Matt's still grinning face, but it seemed that by asking, she had sealed that we were going to play. “Oh, and for asking questions, you'll be the one who starts spinning,” Matt added.

She did. And guess who the bottle landed on? Matt, who winked at Maria before covering his eyes. He was probably excepting a kiss anyway.

But a moment later, the vote showed no such thing, and Maria was now positively smirking. Almost everyone seemed pleased that Matt's huge attitude would get a little slap.

And I had to admit, the look on his face after the tiny Maria had slapped his cheek with her left hand was pure gold. It was great to be the one laughing at Matt for a change.

Next, Matt got to kiss a girl two persons to my right side. Their make-out session wasn't the nicest thing to watch. That same girl then proceeded to make a huge scene about not wanting to kiss the girl that was next, which resulted in the tiniest peck on the lips I had ever seen. Really, god bless the homophobia.

The girl got to slap Elli, who slapped Lucas, who had to kiss Kile. “Oi Kile, you know you're committing treason right now don't you?,” someone called out, “You're cheating on your princess!”

Kile shook his head with a laugh, and the game went on and on, several rounds.

When the other Asian girl next to Maria spinned the bottle, it finally landed on me. As I closed my eyes, I could feel Lucas tensing next to me when he voted, and suddenly a thought struck me, but I quickly banned it to the back of my mind. I wasn't ready for that one yet.

Sometime during the game, I had lost my hate for it, and I watched in anticipation when Liz came nearer. I was thunderstruck when she suddenly kissed, an actual kiss full on the mouth. This was a game, and nothing of it mattered, but I hadn't been kissed in ages and it felt _good_ , even if I was kissing someone I barely knew.

I pretended not to see the stares following Liz and me when she backed away, her face a scarlet red. I automatically turned to my left to look at Lucas, but he was regarding me with such a sad smile that I had to turn away warily. _I shouldn't care._ I _didn't_ care.

Call it fate or coincidence, but my bottle landed on no one other than him. I watched anxiously as people voted, and I couldn't help but feel a wave of relief when it was eight to seven for slap. Kissing Lucas wasn't something I dared to think about, especially not in front of other people.

Later, I wasn't able to tell why I had done it, or where the sudden courage came from, but when I turned to my left in that moment, I smirked a little. Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths when I leaned in closer, closer than I had ever been.

The tiniest of smiles was tugging at his lips, and for a moment, my breath caught. _The vote was slap_ , I reminded myself. My heart was racing by now, if I was going stare into his gray eyes for one more second I was going to loose it.

I couldn't think clearly anymore.

I slapped him right into his face.

Everyone was howling with laughter and after a second even Lucas himself couldn't help it anymore, while I sat there, still not believing what I had done.

 

Despite listening to music, I lay wide awake that night for hours that night. I couldn't fully comprehend what I had done, and what had happened. The only thing I knew was this: If a kiss with Liz, a girl I had never dreamed of before, was already affecting me like hell, I knew I would explode if I'd ever get to kiss Lucas. In the silence of my dorm, I could finally admit it: I did have a crush on Lucas. I cared what he thought when I was kissing Liz. I wanted my breath to catch in my throat a thousand times if it meant he was sitting next to me. I wanted him to blush when I told him he was cute. I wanted everything, and I wanted him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finally finally. All the hinting has come to an end - or has it? We'll see what they make of it next chapter. All I know is that shipping your own characters is one of the best feelings in the world.


	10. Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizations alone lead no where. Other things might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one word for this cutest of cute chapters yet: Enjoy!

When she came back to her room after breakfast, Eadlyn was almost as distressed as I was. She had just been visiting her mother back in her parents' room, and clearly something was bugging her.

“Is something wrong, your highness?,” I asked concerned when she had snapped the third pencil in a row while working on some tax statistics.

She paused. “Not really. But I've just seen my mother, and... Her and Dad are just so happy. Like, they can finally take their time for walks in the garden, far away from all the stress. You know I was supposed to give the throne back to my father once she was awake again, but seeing them like this... I cannot bear to put the pressure back on their backs,” she said with a sigh.

“Do you mean you're proposing to actually become queen?,” I asked, surprised by this change of mind after all the time she had complained about the pressure that came with the job.

“Maybe. I'm certainly thinking about it. I would do it for their sake, but I don't know how the people will react to it. I'm not exactly popular.”

“I don't think that's entirely true anymore,” I said to encourage her, “many people think you're doing a great job as their queen so far.” As far as I knew, that was true. I wasn't the only one who had changed their mind over the past few weeks, although I was probably an extreme example. After all, I had been genuinely surprised how caring the princess was in reality.

“But – not sure if you heard about it – I recently had an assembly with some of the people from town, it was one of Marid's ideas, and they kept shouting at me at first, telling me they wanted a vote and stuff like that. I wasn't even good at talking to them.

“Besides... I've been thinking about the vote thing a lot lately. A country needs a leader, and I'm willing to be that leader, but I can't decide about everything in their lives alone. The only one who can do that is each one for themselves.”

“You want Illéa to become a democracy?,” I asked incredulously, “that's a huge step.”

“A constitutional monarchy,” she said, “I'm not running away from the responsibility. But I do think a parliament would be a good improvement for our country, yes.”

I nodded in agreement, but then another thought crossed my mind. “Marid won't support you on this one.”

She nodded grimly. “He doesn't need to know, for now. I don't think I'd announce it before the Selection is over anyway.”

“Do you think the problem with him will solve itself after the Selection?,” I asked, because I wasn't trusting Marid Illéa one bit. Alone the way he was gushing about Eadlyn on the radio lately... It was hardly bearable.

“I'm not sure, but I hope so. I really don't want to deal with any more stress factors right now.”

“I get that,” I said honestly, thinking of my own stress factors. Mainly the one that had gray eyes. It was a pity that one wasn't going to solve itself.

It must have been showing on my face, because Eadlyn suddenly looked worried. “What's the matter, Jasmine? You look like something's bothering you, too,” she said.

I shrugged. “Nothing, really.” But then I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I started off with the one the nearest. “Except I almost kissed someone a few nights ago and it shouldn't have meant something, but _goodness_ , it did and now I feel like he's ignoring me and-” It simply felt good telling someone who wouldn't know who I was talking about.

“Jas... You know I'm not the best with advice,” she said a little helplessly, “but I'm sure it'll all work out for you. Just talk to him, all right?”

“Thank you,” I said, and suddenly I remembered something that would make her laugh for once. “Eadlyn? What would you say if I told you I saw that particular guy kissing one of your suitors a few nights ago?”

The shocked look on her face was pure gold. “What did you just say?”

I grinned. “Nothing to worry about. Kile was playing drinking games with some of us. Kiss or Slap, to be precise,” I explained quickly, and her expression changed from shock to pure delight.

“I hate you,” she said with a grin, “how dare you shock me like that.”

“But to be honest I'm a little jealous,” she continued, “I don't really have friends within the staff, except maybe Neena and you.”

“Pick Kile, and you'll have them,” I joked.

She snorted. “Really? I'm not that sure yet.”

“I know. No pressure,” I reminded her, “take your time.”

“I will, she said and got off her chair, “but I think I will offer the full ascending to my parents. It has to happen sooner or later after all, and if it's what they want, too...”

“Good luck!,” I wished her on the way out.

 

As I had told Eadlyn, I didn't get the chance to speak privately to Lucas for days, and by the end of the week I was positive he was avoiding me, and even avoiding eye contact at the meals. I didn't know what to do anymore. I had come to a pathetic resolution in the middle of the night, and now? After three days of constant ignorance I got too desperate. Lucas was sitting opposite of me at the dinner table, and while he was intently talking to Matt about a shift change the next day, not looking left or right, I kicked his foot under the table. Hard. His head whipped around in reflex, but I was already back to talking with Maria.

 

I still wasn't sure if it had worked when I sat on the roof twenty minutes later. And even if it had, I didn't know if he understood, or wanted to understand the message. But after a few more minutes, when the waiting had almost succeeded to turn me into a nerve wreck, I finally heard hesitant steps on the stairs.

“I should've known,” Lucas said, “do you know where I've been looking for you?”

“Nice to know you've been looking for me for a change.”

He awkwardly sat down beside me. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run away. It's just...”

I remained silent. Had I been misinterpreting things? Had he only come here to tell me that I shouldn't have done what I had been thinking about all week? Was he going to tell me I should stop talking to him, or-

He fidgeted with his hands. “Jas,” he started, and I was preparing myself for the worst. “Never mind,” he sounded angry with himself, “this is probably too personal.”

“No,” I urged, “you've already made me curious now.”

He chuckled despite the tension. “Naturally.” Drawing in a breath, he asked: “ Jas, are you... are you lesbian?”

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. So he _did_ care about it. Did he?

“Bisexual,” I said with a small smile, and something flickered in Lucas's eyes. Was it hope?

“Why?,” I dared to ask quietly.

But he shook his head. “Just curious.”

“Oh well, who was the one teasing me about my curiosity now?,” I joked.

He grinned mischievously at that, and I couldn't help but smile because I hadn't seen him smile like that in ages, and because it was me who he was smiling at. “It's not as if you aren't curious though,” he stated.

“I don't think that's a bad thing,” I said confidently.

“So do tell me about any bad things about you,” he challenged with the mischievous glimmer still in his eyes, “or don't you have any?”

“Of course not,” I replied sarcastically, “what _were_ you thinking of me?”

His grin deepened, and I thought about his question. I didn't hate myself, but there was something that had always bugged me.

“You know, I hate how I'm always just average. I don't necessarily mean the grades I got in high school, but everything else, too. I'm almost never bad at anything, but I've never found anything I'm actually great at either. I play the flute, but never the solo parts. I love swimming, but I never made it into the competition team.

“Even here in the palace, it's like that. I wasn't bad in either of my first four weeks, but in the end, I didn't know what to choose because I wasn't _great_ at anything. And what did I end up with? Being declined my wish and getting what I wanted the least. Sure, what I'm doing now is amazing, but it's all just because Neena rescued me and chose me for the job. Sorry, but being average is really exhausting.”

Lucas looked at me with an odd expression. “Don't apologize. I'll listen, remember? And this might sound like a cliché standard reply, but I mean it. You aren't average. You're doing this job with Eadlyn with a joy I have only seen with Neena. You are there for your friends, and I see you supporting Neena with her new job to no ends. You're funny, and you actually care about the people around you, even if we only met barely two months ago.

“And most importantly, you take your life in your own hands. I'd bet the soloist in the orchestra hasn't got any other useful talents. I'd bet all the swimmers on the team get fed through by their parents. But you found a way in your life on your own, and if anything, you can be _proud_ of yourself.” He said all of this with such a certainty that it made me smile.

“Thank you,” I said, “it means a lot.”

He drew in another breath. “And it turns out, this means a lot to me, too. You're inspiring. Seeing you makes me want to get up and get a life myself, and that's exactly what I need. I hate how I spend all of my life stuck up in the monotony of this place, and I find new excuses for it every day. And then you come around, with your new ideas and your confidence to make something out of your life, and that's just amazing.”

Staring up at him, at this wonderful, confident boy, who was still somehow looking up to _me_ , I was stunned. Never had I dreamed in my life that someone would call me _inspiring_ one day.

I leaned in closer. “You're not stuck up. You have a dream too, remember? And I know you're going to live it,” I whispered, his face so close we were breathing the same air. This time I wasn't going to slap him.

“When I first saw you, I thought you were going to be the death of me, Jasmine Teach,” he breathed against my lips, “now you're all my hope.”

And then my lips were on his, and it was like stars exploding in my head, and it was stopping me to think. I drew in a breath between kisses, wishing this would last forever, wishing I could stay with my hands in his hair and in his arms around my body all night. And even after our lips parted, we didn't let go of each other. Lucas's hands were drawing circles on my back, and I squeezed his hand as tightly as I could, holding onto him as if I could loose him again, because I wanted him to stay with me so badly.

Weeks ago, at his party, I had danced until my limbs were shaking, and I had found freedom. Now, here in Lucas's arms, staring up at the stars holding our dreams, I hadn't just found freedom, but I had found peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you love them as much as I do. And I hope we have all the fluff&stuff coming our way, because if you know me, you know I couldn't continue without it.


	11. Looking Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprising call might throw everything off - but then it doesn't, does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my summaries suck by the way. This chapter brings a certain person back into the action, and of course we have the fluff. Enjoy!

As December was getting closer, the thought of my family began to cross my mind more often. It made the days that were still sunny incredibly gray and dull, and I often couldn't help but recall Thommy's face on Christmas Eve, the lights of our Christmas tree shining in his eyes. I wasn't as optimistic as would have been necessary to believe I'd get to spend the holiday with my family. Would they even want me to come home?

Things changed on Friday, 30th November, when my phone rang during lunch break and the screen just said “home”. Completely frozen in the spot, I drew in a breath and then ran out of the kitchens, expecting the worst. Still, I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Jasmine?” I thought my heart was going to explode when I recognized Thommy's voice.

“Yeah,” I said tentatively, “are you all right?”

As always, his answer was pure honesty. “Kind of. I miss you.”

Something about his voice made me want to cry. “I miss you, too. And I'm sorry I didn't call you. I should have, and I know it.”

“Yes,” he replied, “but I understand you, I think.

“I was scared,” I admitted. Thommy deserved the same honesty from me that I got from him, and still I couldn't find the words to tell him everything.

“How are you doing with the job?,” he asked after a while.

“It's good. I found some friends here, and they help a lot.” I stopped, unsure how much I could tell him on the phone. “You won't believe it, but two weeks ago Neena, one of my friends, was promoted, and I got her position – as the personal maid of princess Eadlyn!”

Thommy was silent for a while, though he wasn't stunned. I was pretty sure I could _hear_ his brain processing this information, until he spoke up again. “That's good. Are you feeling fine about it though?” I wanted to hug him. How was it that I was too much of a coward to even try to call him just once, and the only thing he was concerned about was my well-being?

“Yeah. You know I always thought she was horrible, but she isn't, really. Sometimes it's even good to talk to her.”

“Is it true that she's ascending next week? Become a full queen?”

I smiled. “True! I probably shouldn't have told you that until this evening's report, but I don't actually care. The official coronation is on Sunday,” I told him.

“Oh, that's good,” he said, “because we're visiting you on Monday.”

“You're _what_?,” I asked, completely caught off guard.

Thommy remained calm. “We're going to visit you on Monday,” he repeated.

“Thommy... That's amazing! I don't know if you're allowed in the palace, but I can certainly show you Angeles, and the beach, and everything.” I didn't care I was babbling again. These news were way too good.

Now I could basically hear the grin in Thommy's voice as well. “Mum assumed that you probably wouldn't get the days off for Christmas, what with the palace celebrations and stuff, so we reckoned we should see each other before.”

“It's so good! And you're probably right about Christmas,” I said sadly, “but I'll see if I can visit you right afterwards.”

“That'd be great! But for now, see you in a week,” Thommy said cheerfully, and I said goodbye to him. Though it made me slightly anxious, the next month had just gained another event I was looking forward to.

 

After that, I was humming all the way up to the third floor, until someone took my hand from behind me on the last one of the dark staircases.

“Hey,” Lucas said softly and turned me around to face him. The look in his gray eyes was enough to make me knees feel wobbly again.

“Hey,” I replied quietly, and leaned in to press my lips to his. His response was immediate, as he pulled me even closer with his arms around my waist. When we drew away breathlessly, I was smiling like an idiot, and he was too, and all I wanted was to feel this sparkling sensation of his lips on mine again, and...

Lucas looked down to where our fingers had intertwined. “What are we?,” he asked suddenly, “I mean...” He shook his head at himself, the smile still not vanishing from his features. “Are you my girlfriend now, or...?”

I wasn't trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach anymore. As I looked up to meet his gaze, I replied: “I'd love to be.”

If possible, his smile became even wider, and I was sure mine had too. There we were, two idiots smiling as if we could light up the entire staircase just by doing so.

“What was the phone call at lunch about?,” he asked after a while, and my stomach did another happy somersault at the memory.

“It was Thommy, my little brother. I have to admit I was too much of a coward to call him before, but now he did, and I couldn't be happier: My family is going to visit me the day after the coronation,” I said excitedly.

Lucas rubbed his thumb over my hand, sending rays of warmth through my whole body. I could see he was choosing his words carefully. “That's good,” he said finally, “you shouldn't loose them out of sight.” He was wearing an odd expression at these words, but I chose not to ask. I was sure he would tell me what was bothering him when he wanted to.

“I won't,” I promised. “But now I need to get back to work,” I said with a smile, standing on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

I couldn't stop smiling all day. Not when I arrived in Eadlyn's room and she guessed truthfully that I had “sorted things out with that guy”, not when she told me how Kile had told her the guy was his best friend, and not when I got started on Eadlyn's coronation dress. I was smiling when I called Alisia during one of my breaks and told her about everything that had been going on, and I was still smiling when I got into the kitchens for dinner and told Maria and Neena in a hushed voice so that Matt wouldn't catch on. He should have heard it from his brother himself, but even we he did listen anyway, it couldn't stop me smiling. To my surprise, Neena arched an eyebrow at him. “There you have it. You owe me ten,” she said with a sly smile, “I told you they'd be together before Christmas.”

 

The following week seemed to pass by in a blur. With all the preparations for the coronation going on, I barely even found time to meet up with Lucas, but we managed. Well, it came along with earning tons of awfully knowing looks as we both stuffed our meals into our mouths as if inhaling it to save a little of our lunch time, but I was so happy I couldn't care less.

Everything about my life in these precious days was perfect, only to be topped by Eadlyn. After she had checked on the remaining five of her suitors on Saturday (she came back from seeing Kile after lunch with a flushed face that I refused to blame on the run from his guest room up to the third floor), she finally tried on her own dress. It was a pompous golden thing, but Neena had confirmed that for a coronation, I needed to pull literally every luxurious thing out of the drawers. I was proud to say that the majority of the work was my own – I still wasn't quite sure how I had managed.

“Thank you so much Jasmine.” Eadlyn beamed in front of the mirror. “By the way, I want you to have a dress yourself.”

I looked at her in the reflection, startled.

“You can be another official guest,” she offered quickly, “since a pair of them chose not to come.”

With wide-open eyes, I stared at her. Me, an official guest? Surely I would make an utter fool out of myself.

Eadlyn must have taken my silence as a refusal, because she continued trying to convince me. “Neena will be there too. Plus, you get to bring a guest,” she added with a small wink.

“It's all right,” I finally managed. I would get through this. “I have a dress.”

 

I woke with a rush of excitement. It was still pretty early, even for my standards, so I started when someone knocked on my door at precisely 5.30am, and it opened up to reveal no one other than Lucas, a suit on his arm and a smile on his face.

“What are _you_ doing here?,” I asked in mock disgust, “I thought I remembered you calling waking up early 'impossible'?”

“I'm totally blaming you,” he said, leaning in to kiss me, and I found myself giggling. I would never get used to this, I thought when he put the suit to the front of my wardrobe.

“Where did you conjure that from?,” I asked curiously, because he had been going on about not having a suit for the whole previous evening.

“Kile.”

He sat on my bed, his back up against the wall, and closed his eyes. “You know” - he stifled a yawn as I snuggled up next to him - “I'm still pretty tired.”

I laughed. “Don't you know it's considered extremely rude to visit someone and then fall asleep?”

“You know I'm horrible,” he replied with a smile.

“Yeah, true,” I whispered, but he had already dozed off with his head on my shoulder.

I was wide awake. This boy was unbelievable, and it was even harder to believe that I had found him, and that he had found _me_ too, of all things.

 

The coronation was set for 10 o'clock in the morning in a church in Angeles. At seven, I got up, careful not to disturb Lucas's sleeping figure, and got into my dress after a quick shower. When I came back from the bathroom, I found Lucas fumbling around with his tie.

“How the hell is this supposed to work,” he complained with a grin, but then his eyes widened.

“Wow. You look... stunning, Jasmine,” he said earnestly, and made a move to pull me closer, sending me into another fit of giggles.

I pointed a finger at his chest. “You don't look too bad yourself,” I said, calmer than I was at the sight of him in a suit. “Except...” I grinned. “I haven't got the faintest idea about ties either.”

Our problem was solved when we met Neena in front of the dorm and she cleared up the mess the two of us had made, after having a good laugh at our attempts.

We were ushered to some huge limousines, all organized by Eadlyn's closest adviser, Lady Brice. As Lucas and I were unexpected luggage, we were ordered into a car together with Eadlyn's suitors.

Kile smirked at the sight of us. “I've heard you're getting an extra again,” he said to Lucas, who grinned.

“It's not like you've been living on extras these last months, right? Besides, it's all thanks to Jasmine.”

“What did you do this time?,” Kile asked me with a humorous grin.

I shrugged. “Don't know. She said there was a free space because someone wasn't coming-”

“That someone being Marid Illéa's parents,” Lucas interrupted.

I shot him a surprised look, which he answered with a sheepish shrug. “Rumors.”

“But the bloke himself is coming?,” Kile asked with an air of innocence, “because I'm really looking forward to meeting him.”

Both him and Lucas knew about Marid trying to influence Eadlyn, but the other suitors didn't, it seemed. They had been watching our conversation with stunned expressions, the translator trying to repeat everything to Henri in the corner. I suddenly felt bad under all their glances.

“I'm sorry,” I said uncomfortably, “we should have introduced ourselves. I'm Jasmine, Eadlyn's maid, and this is Lucas, my boyfriend.”

Kile smirked knowingly. It felt good to say it out loud, and I reckoned he knew exactly what Lucas and I were both smiling at.

One after another, the suitors politely murmured their names, probably still wondering what two staff members had to do in their limousine. I couldn't blame them, I still didn't know myself.

“I reckon she really likes you,” Kile broke the silence when the other guys just continued to stare at me, with only one glance that was pleasant.

I nodded. “We get along surprisingly well,” I said, causing him and Lucas to snigger. “Plus, I believe she wanted to meet _your_ best friend,” I added with a smirk at the two of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a filler chapter, but that won't happen again now, I promise, since we're already getting towards the end of this little story. I suspect it'll have around 15 chapters now.


	12. The Future And The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eadlyn sees her future and becomes the queen, and Jasmine? She's reunited with her past the very next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love a jealous Kile by the way. Enjoy!

Maybe the best thing about the coronation day was Eadlyn's face as it lit up at the sight of her twin brother Ahren. She must have had a hard time ever since he disappeared, and now he had come back for her coronation – she was ecstatic. Maybe it was the happiness, but she looked radiant in her coronation dress, and she spoke her vows for the country with such certainty that even the hardest sceptican in the crowd was bound to believe in her.

After the ceremony, we got back to the palace for the meal. The palace cooks had outdone themselves once again, because I was sure that I had never seen this amount of food all at once ever in my life. I even found a bowl of phak khom with rice. It only reminded me of seeing my family tomorrow, which even lightened my mood, although some doubts were starting to sneak their way into my mind. What if it didn't go well? What if all that happened was more shouting?

I was quickly distracted from my thoughts by the seating order – apparently no one had found the time to change it after Lucas and I had been sneaked in, so we were sitting next to Marid Illéa, with name cards that read the names of his parents. On my left side sat a girl who looked Asian, just the same skin type as I had, and I was getting curious about her origin. Halfway through the meal, I finally had the courage to ask her, and it turned out she was from the region of Thailand, just like my family! It was a pity I couldn't talk to her in her language as I had never learned it from my parents, but I got to hear a lot of interesting facts.

Next to Lucas, Marid Illéa was giving a talk about his recent radio show – though no one could miss the subtle words of admiration for the new queen he was sneaking into it here and there. I was about to ask him what exactly his intentions with Eadlyn were, no matter the diplomats and royals listening all around, when the king announced a toast for her and declared the dance floor to be opened.

Full with the three different desserts I had tasted, I didn't think I would be able to dance. But Lucas had already pulled me up and was leading me towards the space where some people were already swaying with the rhythm.

“A bit calmer than last time,” he commented as we began to sway and turn along the others, causing me to chuckle.

“Oh yes, I remember that one.” Just as at the party weeks ago, my feet seemed to find their steps themselves, even though I was still glad about my classical dancing courses.

“What did you expect?,” I asked him, looking up.

“Exactly this.” He smiled and turned me to spin around again.

“You're good at it though,” I remarked cockily, and his smile widened. If only I could kiss his smile right here, staring up into his gray eyes...

A voice from behind me shook me out of my daydreams, and I realized with a start that we had even stopped dancing. Kile had sneaked up from behind. “Doing a great job as Mr. and Mrs. Illéa, you two,” he said with a sly grin that suggested he had been fully aware of what had been going on.

“Maybe you should ask him instead,” Lucas said, pointing to the other end of the hall where Marid Illéa was talking to an interviewer, his left arm slung around Eadlyn's waist.

“She doesn't look too comfortable,” Kile remarked, his brows furrowed in thought.

“Jealous?,” Lucas and I asked in unison, and he shot us both a dark look.

“Naah. But you guys can talk, not having to put up with any competition at all,” he said a little disgruntled, earning another laugh from the two of us.

Lucas patted him on the back. “No, we get it, you aren't jealous. Not at all,” he said comically, and I sniggered.

“I'm _not_!,” Kile complained, but unconvinced.

“Also, I think I'd totally have to put up with competition if I paid any attention to it,” I said with a small smile, “but there's this thing called trust.”

“I _do_ trust Eadlyn,” he countered, “but hell, this thing is the Selection! How am I supposed to know if...” He trailed off angrily.

“This might sound stupid now,” Lucas said seriously, “but you should just ask. This competition is really toxic, and if you know what you want, you should tell her – and ask her if she wants it, too.”

Kile swallowed. “Everyone keeps saying that! And still she's over there with that _git_ -”

“Listen, if I can tell you one thing, then it is that Eadlyn would very much rather marry you than Marid Illéa,” I said with certainty, Lucas nodding in agreement, but Kile still looked rather unconvinced.

 

“Do you think they'll make it?,” Lucas asked when he was gone.

“I hope so. But I have no idea what is going on with the others, so I can't tell,” I admitted.

He nodded. “That sounds realistic. I think it isn't hopeless though. Plus, it's really hilarious when he's so jealous,” he said, making me grin. It was.

“By the way, about earlier...I found I love it when you call me your boyfriend,” he added with a blush.

I smiled sheepishly. “I just really wanted to say it.”

Just as we leaned in for a kiss, we were interrupted for the second time this evening, this time by Neena, Matt and Maria, who had somehow sneaked out of her shift.

“They're going to make it,” Neena said resolutely, pointing to where Kile and Eadlyn were standing in the entrance of a hallway now.

“If we're going on like this we're going to need a ship name for them,” Matt said with a grin.

“That's easy, isn't it?,” Maria smirked, “it's Keadlyn.”

 

I was getting anxious. Neena and I were sitting on a bench outside the palace's front doors, as I waited for my family to arrive. Thommy had told me they would rent a car at the airport to get here, but now I was increasingly worried. What if they had decided they wouldn't come this morning? What if their plane had crashed? Even though Neena tried to calm me down, I was sure something had gone wrong until a car finally pulled up in front of us. I thought I was hyperventilating. Just seeing my parents behind the windshield and Thommy's face peering out of the back window froze me in my spot.

It was Dad slamming the car's door that ripped me out of my trance as Neena hugged me and got back to her duties, wishing me good luck. I awkwardly stood there, frozen until Thommy took a tentative step towards me and I couldn't stand it anymore. I ran straight into their arms. When we parted from the family hug, Dad tried a smile.

“I'm so sorry Jasmine,” he said earnestly, and I could feel my eyes filling with tears.

“We should have supported you more, and we're sorry,” Mum said simply.

Thommy just stared, and I pulled him into a hug again.

“I missed you,” he said finally, and at that, the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“I missed you too, smartie,” I replied, using his childhood nickname, the one that was only fitting half now as he was still smarter, but by now also taller than me.

 

Once we had overcome the first shock, the mood got deliberately better. We drove the way back to the city of Angeles, where the sun was shining brightly onto the shops with their Christmas decorations and the sea that was just a tad colder than we were used to in a December in Panama.

Talking to my parents was incredibly easy after not having seen them for months: They simply wanted to know everything about my work, and the royal family, and the staff community, and...

I had already mentioned it to Thommy on the phone, but believing that I had become Eadlyn's personal maid in such little time turned out to be the hardest task of the trip. I told them about our practicing weeks, about how Maria and I had met the queen in the gardens, about Neena's offer to take her job and my luck that I had met her.

My Mum wanted to know about the Selection, and I explained about Kile and his friendship with a lot of the staff members, and about how everyone in the community was blatantly supporting him. I told Thommy about how I had met Raoul as he knew him as well, and just as Alisia, he confirmed that he was well back at home and already had a whole fan club of girls who wanted to marry him after Eadlyn didn't. It was hilarious.

When Dad mentioned the coronation yesterday, he only confirmed what I had assumed before: People had been surprised about how Eadlyn had suddenly measured up and taken the responsibility of the throne, thereby lifting a huge weight off her parents' shoulders. People were impressed, and it seemed like they didn't despise their freshly crowned queen anymore. It was a strange feeling, but I was oddly proud of her.

But the biggest surprise went off when I dropped that she had invited _me_ to the ceremony – me, who was simply her maid.

“She must be really fond of you,” Mum stated, “I'm proud that you're doing your job so well. Who did you take with you for the coronation?”

At that, I blushed crimson red, which caused Thommy to smirk. “Ohhh, Jasmine got herself a _boyfriend_ , or a _girlfriend_.” He grinned happily, taking every opportunity to humiliate his older sister.

I couldn't help but smile. “Boyfriend,” I said, “his name is Lucas, and he is working in the staff as well. But he is smarter than that, so he is thinking about leaving soon to become a news reporter.”

Dad's eyes narrowed. “Is he treating you well?”

Despite everything, I had to laugh. It was good to know that after all, all my family cared about was still my well-being.

“I wouldn't be with him if he didn't,” I said earnestly, and Dad seemed satisfied for the moment.

“I'd like to meet him,” Mum said eagerly, and I nodded. I was too happy to be with my family again to be bothered or nervous anymore.

“You could when we get back,” I offered, wondering if I'd regret this later, “his shift should be over by then.”

Mum smiled graciously at that, and Thommy sniggered. “You're disgustingly in love,” he informed me, but I knew he wasn't offended.

Without realizing it, I had begun to hum a little melody. Until my brother lightly slapped my arm.

“If you continue being disgustingly happy, and most of all, singing, I'm going to _tape_ your mouth shut,” he threatened with a grin.

“You don't even have tape on you,” I deadpanned, but he shrugged.

“That's not the problem.” It was good to be back at bickering about useless topics with him. I had missed my brother.

“You need to visit us around Christmas,” my mother said on our way back.

“I'll try and get the week after Christmas off,” I promised as we turned left into the street leading to the palace. “I'm sure it'll be-”

I was cut off by a horrified scream. The instant I realized it had been my mother's, my head crashed against the seat in front of me and I slumped into darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muhahaha. Not to sound evil, but... ending a chapter like this is highly satisfying.


	13. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several things have to clear up at last - but waking up isn't all cheerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious stuff ahead, just for your information! Enjoy!

I blinked. The white lights above my bed were too bright for my sore eyes, the smell to heavy for my nose. It smelled like hospital. Everything was too white around me, everything was blurred and I couldn't open my eyes. The sheets were tucked in around my body too tightly, I was sweating even though I was cold. When I swallowed, testing my dry throat, it all came back. The headlights of a red car in front of me. Someone hitting the brakes of our car. Mom... and Dad. Thommy.

My eyes flew open with a start. “Thommy,” I wanted to scream but it barely came out as a whisper. I wanted to scream out of sheer frustration. I needed my brother.

Suddenly I felt a hand tighten around mine. “Jasmine,” Lucas's voice said, “Jasmine, wake up.”

Again, I tried to sit up with a start, but it all hurt too much, it felt like my head was bursting into two. It took all my strength to turn my head towards the voice, my whole body was fighting against the tiniest movement.

“Hey,” I managed hoarsely, my eyes opening slightly now to see Lucas sitting next to my bed, a smile lighting up his sad features. “Hey.”

I tried to smile back at him, but I still couldn't grasp a clear thought. “Thommy?,” I asked again, gathering all the courage that was left to hear the answer.

The smile dropped from Lucas's face, and everything in my mind went black. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

Lucas drew in a breath. “He is conscious, but he has been injured as well. His operation yesterday went well. He'll want to see you.” Enormous relief flooded through my whole body, and I had to close my eyes again. Thommy was alive. Conscious. On the way to be better. It was all that mattered.

But when I opened my eyes once more, Lucas still looked so, so sad, as if he dreaded what was coming next. “Jasmine... Your parents... They didn't make it.” He continued talking, but I couldn't listen anymore, as if someone had put my head underwater. They didn't make it. Dead. It couldn't be true. I closed my eyes, and suddenly I heard them, I heard them scream. I tried to blink to drown out the images of their bodies slumping against the seats, crashing together, over and over again.

The next thing I knew were Lucas's arms around me, my tears running down his shirt, his hands rubbing up and down my back. I didn't know how long we stayed like this until my sobs had finally calmed.

“Do you want to see Thommy?,” Lucas asked carefully.

I tried to nod, but my head still hurt like hell. I didn't want to hear those screams again, and more than anything else, I needed my brother. Lucas got up, and I resisted the urge to grab his hand and beg him to stay, because I didn't want to be alone with the horrors in my mind.

It must have shown on my face, because he stopped at the door and came back to me. “I'm not leaving you alone, I'm sorry,” he whispered, and pressed the button next to my nightstand.

“Oh dear...” A nurse was standing in the doorway. I couldn't look at the pity on her face, I couldn't stand it.

“Can you please get Thommy?,” Lucas asked quietly, and the nurse disappeared out of the room. I couldn't do anything to ease the pain, so I just said there watching our intertwined fingers until I heard Thommy's hesitant steps next to my bed.

I hugged him tight until both our tears had dried out, until we were both numb. Seeing him cry was torture.

“Are you okay?,” I whispered after a while.

“No,” he said, and even though one couldn't be okay like this, even though I had expected nothing but the truth, my stomach contradicted. “But it's better now that you're here again. And Lucas helped, too.”

I took him into my arms again. “We're going to make it,” said quietly, “I'm here. We're going to make it.” I felt him nodding against my chest.

 

The nurse had come back, rolling Thommy's bed into the room. That day, Lucas only left for the meals, when Thommy and I got our meals in our beds. I only swallowed a few bites and spoonfuls of soup after a pain blocker had made my head stop hurting that much. It couldn't stop the screams though. That afternoon, Neena and Maria came in, filling me in about what I had missed. Apparently I had blacked out for two days and woken up on the third day, but there hadn't been a lot going on. One of Eadlyn's suitors had been dismissed, and Neena confirmed that two others would be gone by the end of the next week, Eadlyn wanting to make a decision before Christmas arrived. Maria had brought a box of chocolates for Thommy and me, but I couldn't touch them now and left them all for my brother. It was all starting to make me feel sick.

When some other people tried to come into the room later, the nurse ushered them all out with a stern look on her face. I couldn't help but feel grateful for sparing us all the pitying looks and the useless assurances of consolations. I hated it.

 

After dinner, Thommy was fast asleep. He had always been the calmest sleeper I had ever known, even in times of the worst nightmares. I didn't want to sleep. I was scared of what I was going to dream about, and I wouldn't be able to bear hearing my parents scream again, and again...

Suddenly a small ray of light fell into the room as the door was opened and closed with a faint click. Lucas was by my side in seconds, and we were sitting in silence for a long time.

“Thank you,” I whispered then, “for looking after him.” I nodded at Thommy's sleeping figure on the bed next to mine.

“Any time,” came his earnest reply, “it's good you're together again. And I'm sorry. I haven't said it yet, but I know you loved your parents. I'm sorry.”

I nodded into the darkness, but the thought was painful. “Stop. Thank you, but I don't want to think about them,” I said quietly.

“I get that,” Lucas whispered quietly, “although I should tell you... I never knew what it was like to have parents. My mother and my father were both working here in the palace, but I never got to know them. My father left before Matt was born, and my mother shortly afterwards – leaving us. I know for a fact they never loved us, so we never actually lost them, but it still feels like it.”

I didn't know whether he was only telling me this to take my mind off my own pain, because the memory must have been painful for him as well, and I needed a moment to deal with this imagination. Two babies, really, abandoned by their parents in a place like this. “I'm so sorry,” I breathed.

“Don't be,” he said, “it's okay.” But he had always lived with the certainty that his parents never loved him, that he didn't have any, and I had lost my parents knowing they would always love me. Thinking about it, I knew that I had even had the better end of the deal. At least Thommy and I would always have our memory.

 

I must have fallen asleep at last, because when I opened my eyes again, they weren't hurting that much anymore, and I could even bear the sunlight that was coming in through the white curtains. Lucas was still fast asleep on my shoulder. Though I tried not to move, I caught Thommy smiling quietly at us, and that smile, seeing him smile after all the horrors, it was all it took to make me feel so much better.

Soon enough, Lucas was stirring beside me. “Good morning,” he murmured sleepily. I thought my heart was going to burst when I heard Thommy laughing – actually, heartily laughing, and I couldn't help but join in.

“It's already 11am,” Thommy triggered, but Lucas remained undisturbed.

“That's still morning, isn't it?”

“Actually, it's not,” I said, but I cared for nothing except for the smile on Thommy's face and the bright mood that had suddenly taken over in that moment.

We were still smiling when the door opened up, this time revealing Kile and Eadlyn. Despite everything, I couldn't help but giggle at the meaningful looks Kile and Lucas tried to shoot at each other because of Eadlyn and myself when they both just had to laugh.

“I'm glad you are both awake,” said Eadlyn, nudging Kile with an elbow.

He rubbed his forehead. “How do you feel? I mean, that's obviously a bad question but...” He trailed off nervously, and to my surprise it was Thommy who answered, after he had just been oggling the two of them so far.

“It's fine. We'll manage it together,” he said with a polite smile, and I could only nod at that.

Eadlyn smiled. It was hard, but I was happy to see both her and Kile in such a delightful mood.

“You haven't missed a lot,” she addressed me, “I'm just eliminating some suitors right now to be finished around Christmas.”

“I heard from Neena,” I said, “and good luck with it. I hope I'll be able to help again soon, not being able to do anything just kills me,” I admitted. It was true. Thommy was already allowed to wander around, but I had to stay in my bed, and even with Lucas or Thommy by my side it was hard to take my mind off the things I didn't want to think about.

“Yeah, it's a lot of work still,” I heard Eadlyn saying, “I'm sorry I didn't come earlier.” She looked apologetic.

“Not a problem,” I assured her, “I've had enough of people saying how sorry they are for us.”

She nodded earnestly. “I get that.”

 

Later, the nurse came in with good news. “You'll be able to stand up for a few hours now, but I still want you to sleep here at night,” she announced.

“I'll meet you at dinner then?,” asked Lucas, who had to start working again that day.

I pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “See you later.”

I turned to Thommy. “Do you want to sleep in my dorm once we get out of here?”

His head jerked up, and he nodded. “Do you have to beds in there?”

“Not yet,” I said with a smile, “but we can arrange that. Come on, let's go for a walk around.” I suspected he had already seen the majority of the palace, and I was proven right when he seemed to find the hallways entirely on his own.

“I'll meet up with a boy down in the kitchens, Sam,” he said after a while.

“Okay. I'll see if I find Neena or Maria.” If Thommy had made friends with Sam, that was great. I took the stairs up to the third floor, where I found both Neena and Eadlyn in her office, together with Lady Brice.

“Can I come in?,” I asked in the doorway, making the three of them jump.

“If it's not too much for you,” Neena said with a worried smile.

“Anything to take my mind off,” I shrugged and fell into the chair next to Neena.

Meanwhile Eadlyn had introduced me to her adviser again. “Jas, we already talked about Marid Illéa once, right?”

I nodded. “Is he causing any problems?”

“Unfortunately yes,” Lady Brice said, “first he hinted to a reporter at the coronation that he and Eadlyn were a thing, and then he was seen buying an engagement ring this morning. The public is eating it up.”

“He makes it look like he's hopelessly in love with me, so it will destroy the good image I have just achieved if I simply refuse to marry him,” Eadlyn explained, “which is why I need to marry someone _else_ as soon as possible.”

I was taken aback. “Have you made that decision?,” I asked carefully.

She shrugged. “Not really,” she said, earning concerned glances from all three of us. I thought of Kile. Had _he_ made his decision yet?

“But listen, I'm going to be happy. I just thought I would have more time. Really, it's fine,” Eadlyn insisted, “I'll be engaged before Christmas. You know I'm already eliminating it down to the last two during this week and the next.

Lady Brice looked as anxious about that as I felt. “If you say so. And no word about Marid on the report this evening?”

Eadlyn drew in a breath. “Yes, that's the plan. Plus, the constitution plans still stand. I'm not taking these back, I mean them.”

 

At dinner, the others filled me in on the gossip I had missed. Our table had grown: Besides Thommy and Sam, Liz was now sitting with us. “She and Elli announced they were a thing now,” Matt had said loud enough for the whole kitchens to hear, and Liz's face became a scarlet red, but she smiled along with the others. You had to get used to Matt's manners.

But even though everyone was careful and seemed to want to lift our minds, I couldn't help but think about what was happening tomorrow, and I could feel that Thommy was feeling the same way: the funeral.

Back in the hospital room, I had to call first Alisia, who was as supportive as ever, and then my aunt, a sister of my mother. She had been organizing everything, and I had to clear some things up with her about our flights. In short, it was horrible.

Everything I had been avoiding all day came back to me at night, and I found myself wishing for Lucas to lie next to me when I woke up from yet another high-pitched scream inside my head. It was too much. At three o'clock, I sneaked into Thommy's bed, careful not to disturb him. Was he hearing it, too? How was he bearing it?

 

I hated funerals. There wasn't much else to say besides that. Both Thommy and I had never been to one before, and we had not known it was all about the guest wishing the remaining relatives all the best, about talking about my dead parents, and about drinking afterwards. It was hardly bearable. I couldn't listen to the speeches people gave about how they had both been great teachers and great parents to their children. I couldn't look at the coffins being lowered into the ground. These had been my parents. Mum and Dad. I couldn't bear seeing all those people cry for them even though they hadn't even known them. I couldn't bear that Thommy and I had both cried too much the last days to do anything more than just feel numb inside now.

After four hours of torture, we finally escaped into my old room together. But it wasn't better inside the house, because everything here was bound to remind us of them, from the scratch in the wardrobe to the newspaper on the kitchen table. My aunt had told us to take anything with us that we wanted to keep, as Thommy and I had both agreed that neither of us wanted to keep the house. It would be unbearable to live in a place like this, and my aunt was going to sell it now. Housing was always a difficult issue in our province.

We started to put our parents' bearings into huge boxes and filled all the trunks we could find to take them with us. We were leaving this place behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might cry at this... Nevermind, I did cry. I didn't want to do this... Certainly not.


	14. A Whole New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasmine is torn apart - but Eadlyn still needs her help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting to the end, this is the last real chapter... I'm not happy about it either. Enjoy!

One week later, I was finally able to leave the hospital wing. Someone had put a second bed into my dorm, and both Thommy and I had moved back there with the bunches of boxes we had brought with us. It would be necessary to sort through the things soon, but it was something that could wait. The pain was still too fresh to tore at the wounds again.

The routine of work helped a little, and even though my nightmares were still hell, normality was slowly coming back. Thommy was great, too. He had started working in the kitchens with Sam on occasions, and he still took lessons from a teacher for all the palace-born children so that he could study one day. I was pretty sure he was on top of all these classes, and the thought that Thommy could have a future too was what drove me to work every day even though Eadlyn offered me more breaks and even though our parents had left us all their fortune.

 

By Monday, Eadlyn still hadn't made her decision. I could tell she was getting nervous when I was unnecessarily cleaning the shelves off some non-existent dust once more and she was pacing up and down the length of her room in a break during two adviser meetings. She stopped abruptly in front of her desk that was full of official-looking forms and tables as usual.

“Did you make this?,” she asked suddenly, holding up a piece of paper so that I could see it. Drawing closer, I recognized it as the sketch of the round room I had made for Lucas at the beach of Angeles. It felt ages ago.

“Yeah,” I said, “I'd like to study interior design someday. It must have fallen out of my apron.”

She smiled. “You should. I mean, I know nothing about that stuff, but this looks like it would even work – though it's totally crazy. You would want to make something more out of your life with this.”

I swallowed, thinking about how my parents had been so offended when I first proposed this idea. It was even longer ago, so that it almost seemed like it had happened in a different life. “It's what I want. But I still don't know if I'll be good enough to go to university, or how I should manage that.”

A somewhat strange look crossed Eadlyn's face. “Wait up here,” she ordered in the bossiest voice she had ever used on me, taking me by surprise. What was she up to now? But she had already started out of the door and down the corridor.

A few seconds later I heard her voice around the corner again, now accompanied by another one, a rather deep one I recognized as Kile's after a moment.

“Come on, you have to look at something! Someone's got talent.” That was Eadlyn.

“For goodness's sake, are you playing matchmaking with me now?,” Kile complained, sounding rather amused.

“Obviously that's not what I'm planning to do!”

“Oh, I don't know, it's not always that obvious what you're up to,” he said savagely.

Eadlyn sounded exasperated. “What is _that_ supposed to mean now?”

But Kile didn't seem to know himself. “You should be glad you aren't boring though,” he continued as if not having heard Eadlyn.

“You're evading my question,” she shot back, “anyway, it's not like _you_ are the most interesting person in the world. Get in.”

“Mean,” he said in a mocking voice that suggested he was hurt, but I wasn't sure if it was all mocking. “You really seem frustrated.”

“I have all the right to be!” Eadlyn let out a exasperated breath before entering the room.

“Hi Jasmine,” Kile greeted me when he entered the room, “are you the talented someone?”

Eadlyn cast him a warning glance, but she only said: “Yes, she is. Have a look at that.” She held out my sketch for him as he sat down at the table. He studied them closely, making me a tad nervous with his knowing glance. It was only a fun sketch, after all.

“I know you're going to say this was all for fun or something,” he started, shaking me out of my thoughts by repeating them, “but Eadlyn is right. With the right materials, this would actually be possible if you worked on it a little. You certainly take risks.”

I glanced at him. “As if you didn't know before,” I said, thinking of the disaster on the roof. “Anyway, I'd need to study it.”

“Yeah, Lucas told me that was you dream,” he said, “you'd have to hand in a bunch of sample designs, at least that's what I did for architecture. But I know you'll find something, I'm sure of it. I have a friend who studies interior design here in Angeles, and he loves it, so, great decision.”

“Thanks,” I said, while Kile was already standing up.

“I'm not complaining,” he said, “but I actually _was_ in a hurry for some kind of suitor thing, and now I'm definitely running late. See you two around.” With that, he jogged off.

Eadlyn shrugged. “I just wanted confirmation for you.”

I eyes her curiously. “Are you sure you weren't merely seizing an opportunity to talk to a specific person?”

She turned around, eyebrows raised. “I wasn't,” she said, but her smirk gave her away. “And I still can't believe your blatant favoritism.”

“What should I do? He's my friend. Besides,” I said pointedly, “ _you_ favor him too.”

A long silence followed these words, in which Eadlyn seemed to fight a battle within her mind. “Maybe I do,” she said finally.

I held my breath. Was this her decision?

Suddenly she smiled, as if feeling a thousand times lighter than seconds ago. “Maybe I always did,” she continued talking about Kile, “I treated him differently from the very first second of the Selection. He manages to throw me off guard, which was entirely unpleasant at first, but I have to admit it isn't now. And then there's this feeling... Like feeling comfortable when I'm around him. As if he can make me be Eadlyn, and just Eadlyn. I guess the decision was actually pretty obvious since several weeks, am I right?”

I smiled. “Kind of,” I said with a smirk, “you both were insufferable with your insecurity.”

“The only question now is if he'll choose me too – surely we'll have a lot more freedom now since I want to go through with the constitution, but still. He won't ever be as free as he wishes to be.”

“Eadlyn,” I said earnestly, “subconsciously, he chose you weeks ago, if our impression is any proof. And believe me, he'll choose you over and over again, every day, because that's what love is. He'll choose you, and you'll choose him. You just need to be ready for it, and I'm sure you have both been feeling it.”

I was startled when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. “Thank you, Jasmine. You helped a lot,” she said with a smile and practically ran out of the room, leaving me there, smiling like an idiot. I shook my head, happy these two were finding each other. _Finally_.

 

Before the engagement ceremony, Eadlyn was a mess. “What if he says no?,” she said with a untypical wave of panic as I did her hair.

“Eadlyn, you already proposed to him, remember? And he said yes. You're just going to repeat it for the cameras,” said kindly, “he won't have changed his mind in these three days.”

“These three hours,” she corrected, and added with a somewhat sheepish smile, “we fell asleep on his couch.” I was glad that her usually unwavering confidence was back in her voice.

“See? Nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” she said as she dashed off to find Kile once more, giddy like a little girl. I met Thommy, Lucas and some of the others downstairs before we went to the studio for the announcement. My brother quickly spotted someone he knew from his lessons, and Lucas and I stood in the back, our fingers intertwined, making the everlasting butterflies in my stomach do somersaults. I wouldn't ever get used to this.

I wished for Eadlyn and Kile that they never got used to it either, never got enough of each other, as Eadlyn stood on the stage with the remaining two of her suitors, Henri beaming as happy as ever, as if he hadn't just lost a life-changing competition.

When she made the announcement concerning the constitution, the whole room erupted in loud applause and surprised gasps, as there was barely anyone who had known about the whole plan at all. I could only imagine Marid Illéa's reaction a thousand miles away from Angeles, he probably wouldn't remember this evening as particularly happy, any possibility for him to get power being destroyed in Eadlyn's announcements.

As we watched Kile proposing and slipping a monstrous – though it probably still was the simplest – engagement ring onto Eadlyn's ring finger, I briefly wondered if this was what Lucas and I would find too. But I banned the thought almost immediately, because we had enough time later, but I knew in my heart that I could imagine it if I wanted to, that it was maybe what I wanted, but it wasn't what I wanted now. I wondered if this was what my parents felt when they got married, for I knew for a fact they had been in love, too. I wondered if they would be looking down when it was me who got married one day, and if they could still be happy then. I hoped they could.

We were celebrating the couple until late into the night, and around midnight, we were up on the roof again. The whole group of people that had become special to me over the past few months was here. Ellie and Liz and Matt, Thommy and Sam, Neena and Maria, Lucas and Kile, and for the first time Eadlyn was up here with us, celebrating freedom and happiness and life itself. And as we sat there, holding onto each other and gazing at the night sky, I allowed myself to be happy. Happy because my parents would have wanted me to be. Happy because Thommy was finally laughing again. Happy because love was a choice, and each one of us had made the perfect ones.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am proud of this and yes I am proud of that ending sentence. We still have the epilogue to go!


	15. Three Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes the very short epilogue. One last time... Enjoy!

We were standing outside the palace doors in the bright sun of Angeles, and I thought I could even smell the ocean from up here, as if the wind was blowing in the right direction. It was a good day.

I turned around to see Eadlyn, Kile and Neena standing behind me, and I went back to hug them one last time. Surely I would be seeing them a lot, of course, but this still felt like saying good-bye. Good-bye to the palace, and that part of my life. Lucas and I had found a little flat in the city of Angeles, where we were going to live from now on, and I would be able to go to university. I would study interior design, the dream I was finally living, and Lucas would be working for an Angeles newspaper, learning to become a journalist.

I looked up at Thommy next to me. It was still hard without my parents, and it would always be, but we were getting through it all. My brother had grown so much in the last three years. He had passed graduation with top marks, and as he wanted to become a teacher, he could start university as well now. I hadn't been sure whether he would agree to move in with Lucas and me – admittedly, it was bound to be problematic at some times, but this was the best solution for now. I couldn't help but be utterly proud of him.

Beside me, Lucas was talking to Kile. It was still weird to see him as the king of Illéa, but wasn't it good that he hadn't let it change him? It was perfectly clear that he couldn't be happier, and the same applied to Eadlyn. She had announced her pregnancy only a few days ago, sending the whole palace, if not the whole country, into ecstase.

Lucas turned to me, and I couldn't help but smile at the adventurous glint in his eyes. He held out his hand. “Ready?”

I beamed up at him. “Ready.”

And we set off into our new future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you guys for reading and sticking with me througout this story, it was a lot of fun to write and I sincerely don't want to let go of Jasmine yet, but I guess I will. I hope you enjoyed this, and please leave a comment if you don't mind, reviews will endlessly lighten up my day. Thanks!


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